THE STARTING 11: Other Jobs at TFC

Posted By on Sep 5, 2016 in Malarkey, Uncategorized | 2 comments

Marx

Labour Day, the day we celebrate bringing our first part-time jobs to their full nine-month terms. Thanks antiquated combined sex-ed/civics class curriculum! Anyjobs, with today being the day we celebrate the worker, we thought it was a great opportunity to honour some of the lesser publicized positions at TFC…

11. The guy that puts red socks in the laundry with Greg Vanney’s white shirts

10. Tunnel Club bouncer

9. Hawk Fluffer

8. Tifo Dry Cleaner

7. The team that has to put the Timbits kids back in their cage after halftime

6. Butty Fastener

5. Jonathan Osorio’s Tips Froster

4. The kid that has to buy Benoit Cheyrou’s high-tar French cigarettes

3. Quillan Roberts

2. The team that has to add all the extra zeroes on the end of playoff ticket prices

1. Assistant to the Regional Wonk

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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2 Comments

    • Mateen

      October 25, 2016

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