Episode 470 – 23/10/03 #Wasteman

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One response to “Episode 470 – 23/10/03 #Wasteman”

1. 

   Mr Fishhead

   October 4, 2023

   Singing Edelweiss from the 60’s movie The sound of music?! Stop living in the past! Come on!

   You are now living in the age of wonder. The dawn of a new era. A time of fax machines, pagers and cassette Walkmans. What a time to be alive!

   And you will know your in the right timeline when you hear those thumping beats coming from the club.

   Of course it’s that worldwide hit we all love…. it goes without saying it’s the Austrian band known as Edelweiss playing that song that never gets old, Bring me Edelweiss.

   Though you might disagree with my choice. Maybe your favorite song of theirs is, Starship Edelweiss. I don’t know… I think the rapping klingons in the video are bit too much,(not joking)! I must say their little known song, Planet Edelweiss isnt bad either.

   Stop getting me off track… look at that disheveled man ranting at downtown Toronto. He knows what’s going on! He has a sign that says, the end is near. Yes, it’s true! Toronto FC’s season is almost over. He says we should repent for our sins. He’s right! TFC supporters are taking things a bit too far. He says our saviour is coming soon. He’s right! The new coach can’t come soon enough if you ask me.

   And really, a “dog whisperer” in the staff now… TFC make it waaaaay too easy…

   If he thinks he’s dealing with the Littlest Hobo and Lassie, he is wrong! More like Cujo and old yeller. He’s a doctor you say…. Well now, the doctor will take the doggies out back… Doctor Kevorkian that is…

   This is my favorite time of the year, Spooktober.

   Though the end of MLS regular season may not be recieved in amusement behind the walls of Vocal Minority studios.

   We should reflect on TFC’s season. It must of required alot of coordination and careful planning to get them where they are. Not just one man is responsible but a crowd of many for this accomplishment. Not just any MLS team could replicate such a season despite their best efforts.

   Though I wonder if such ruminations of the Vocal Minority staff is a bit too much. Their is only so much a mind can hold before it spills forth. You can only bend so much before your sanity breaks.

   Some may recieve an invitation to Vocal Minority’s studio’s per chance. Seems an offer hard to decline. But beware it’s an invitation that many should pass by.

   The hosts seem welcoming but their minds holds burdens beyond compare.

   The studio’s seem a warm, cozy and quiet room…

   Nothing odd about this place except for a plate of carrots. You say ignore the wild rumors. They are just disparaging remarks from jealous podcasters…

   But any guests should be ready for a swift exit…

   Maybe one visit is nice if you’re a gambling man. A second if you dare throw the dice again, but thrice and the devil eyes shall be shown to you. This is a wager for your life!

   One casual remark, just one disagreeable word. It might be trivial for the majority to hear but not the Vocal Minority… No ryme or reason to what madness that is about to happen. No one can predict when the horror will begin…

   Perhaps you mentioned a kit does not agree with your tastes. Or a casual remark on footwear. Or you disagree with the proper consumption of diary products… Who knows what causes the agreeable folks to turn suddenly. Anything can be the trigger.

   All hell brakes loose. The carrot is grabbed with fury. You would never prepare for a weapon such as this. Defending against an onslaught of vicious blows. Your jersey pulled and is used to strangle your weak throat.

   Are these even humans? They seem to have become monsters without a shred of humanity left. The residents of Vocal Minority’s studio’s have no compassion… I say residents of evil!

   Scream as loud as you can but somehow the sounds does not penetrate through the walls. Not even the booming laughter in response to you begging for mercy can be heard on the streets below. The carrot is dipped… a dip of blood!

   The door won’t budge despite the efforts. The windows are the same, sealed tight, neither the cold or a yell comes through the thick glass. As the blows rain down, the bloody hands scratch at the freshly painted walls and splatter your blood on to it. This only causes more amusement in the gang of evil.

   You plea that you have suffered enough. But they claim you know not what true suffering is. They say they are masters in this. They will show you what real pain is…

   One day they will make a movie of this horror. This story must be told.

   But no bodies will ever be found. With no body, no crime can be proven. No man can make these charges stick. No man can solve the mystery. No man could close this case! No cop, courtroom or private investigator. Not even Magnum PI, Matlock or Miami Vice. The scales of justice have been broken!

   They must be set free despite their despicable acts. Free to return to their wicked ways. No witness at the court to yell out the crimes they saw. If only the walls could talk they would tell tales… Tales of terror!

   You may ask what was done with all the bodies? But you may fear the answer…

   Interesting to note that human bodies are a good insulation inbetween walls and are great at sound proofing a room…

   One last word of warning to all the children going out for some treats on October 31st. You expect people to bend down and give you candy… But if you decide to wear the spookiest costume of all… Toronto FC kits! Beware people may not bend to your will… but break something deep inside instead

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