Episode 565 – 26/03/19 #ColdAssesAllGame

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One response to “Episode 565 – 26/03/19 #ColdAssesAllGame”

1. 

   Mr Fishhead

   March 22, 2026

   You want to act out scenes? Are you sure about that? You may disclose some private information. I would delete it before someone with prying eyes and flapping tongues tells the wider public…

   Kristin- Mark, can you explain the withdrawal from the Vocal Minority’s expense account?

   Mark- Sure, it’s nothing to be concerned about. It’s a fee for the services of a Onlyfans model.

   Kristin- What?!

   Duncan- I thought that money was for Canadian soccer related expenses.

   Mark- It was! I got her to wear a old York 9 kit. She even had the correct socks. But no shorts and no underwear either, for some reason.

   Kristin- I am dumbfounded. I can barely comprehend your antics.

   Duncan- Come on, Mark. You have to at least discuss soccer if you think that is a proper expense.

   Mark- We did! She did alot of dirty talk about Forge. You wouldn’t believe the nasty things she said.

   Kristin- I can’t believe you! You never cease to amaze me. You push it to the limit. You deserve some kind of award!

   Mark- Thank you, for your honest praise. Finally, I get a little appreciation around here.

   Duncan- Mark! That’s a stretch to call that a discussion of soccer. Did you talk about tactics, formation or rules?

   Mark- I’m glad you asked. In fact we had a heated debate on the offside rule… Whether an erect penis would come into play during an offside call.

   Kristin- I’ll take it back. The limit does not exist. You somehow went even further than I could possibly imagine. You will have to pay back the funds.

   Duncan- Hold on a minute…

   Kristin- What?! You’re not agreeing with this tomfoolery?

   Duncan- Does she have FIFA referee accreditation?

   Mark- I don’t think so.

   Duncan- Then, I can not be part of this. You can’t just listen to any saucy strumpet online. Association football rules are a serious matter. As a representative of the Vocal Minority podcast you have to carefully consider these things or you could bring ill repute to this podcast and it’s affiliates.

   Kristin- Thank you for your words of sanity. Pay us back or your family will be notified and asked for a refund.

   Mark- Woah, woah, let’s not be too hasty! They aren’t interested in offside rules. I’ll get the money by selling a kidney or something. I wanted to lose a little weight anyway. I’ll have you know I could of spent more.

   Duncan- I’m curious, on what?

   Mark- I asked her to wear an old Yorky mascot costume, just the head. She said I would have to pay alot more for that.

   Duncan- That’s intresting, I wasn’t aware they catered so well to customers requests. I’m a bit behind the times, the advances of technology is to be marveled. Onlyfans you say, hmmm….

   Mark- Anyway, I won’t be using her services anymore. She had the nerve to claim my dong wasn’t big enough to get an offside call. I can assure you that the whole stadium can see that I am a foot long offside. No need for VAR. If anything people probably think I have three legs. If you heard differently, they are lies! Lies I tell you! Lies!

   Mark starts whimpering- I’m just a little stressed at work lately. I swear, that kind of thing never happened to me before…

   Duncan- Get a hold of yourself, Mark! As a member of the Vocal Minority podcast you must have decorum and present yourself with dignity at all times. I expect you not to be emotional or let your base instincts corrupt you. Or the credibility of this podcast would be placed in doubt. Think of our subscribers, our patreon followers and our future sponsors. Kristin, how are the negotiations with sponsors going?

   Kristin- What?! Sponsors?! Not good!

   Duncan- See Mark! You have not acted in the highest standards necessary. You can forget about the sponsor for the official cookie of the Vocal Minority podcast.

   Mark cries uncontrollably looking down towards his groin.

   Duncan- This repugnant behavior is a disgrace! You let some half dressed harlot talk about your little willy and put you into a sad state of affairs. You disgust me and bring shame to this podcast. A gentleman such as myself won’t be frazzled by some tawdry temptress, I consider that dishonorable.

   Mark whipes his tears- Sorry.

   Kristin- Duncan! Have some compassion. It’s okay Mark. Dont listen to the mean girls. I understand, when you get to a certain age it’s more difficult to get offside. And when you do it happens so quick that the ref doesn’t even notice. Talk to a professional about your little offside disfunction problem.

   Duncan- By the way, did you happen to ask this tasty tart online, how much for her to wear the outfit of Pacific FC’s mascot?

   Mark- A starfish costume?! Why would I ask that? What kind of twisted freak do you think I am? Only a perverted lunatic would be into something like that. They should lock up those sickos for life.

   Duncan nervously replies as his voice cracks- Never mind…Oh, ah… The time is ticking let’s start the next episode.

   Kristin- Yes! Time to move away from this malarkey. If I hear anymore of this lunacy, they will need to lock me up.

   Mark- What’s are the topics for discussion? Anything new and noteworthy?

   Kristin- I wrote it down here… let’s see. Inter Toronto has a new mascot and new offside rules coming to the CPL…

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