
The Part I Write Before The Match :
I honestly don’t know what to put here. I expect Toronto to field a good team. Portland will do the same. Hopefully it doesn’t rain. Um… No lightning delays either.
Toronto came off a less than good outing against a very underachieving, bottom of the table DC and salvaged a draw. After struggling against the poor teams in this league, pattern dictates Portland is going to get a beating.
Bold Predictions :
- Valeri get a goal or assist
- We will get to experience VAR in person tonight
- Toronto wins by 2
On to the Match :
15’ – Portland keeper goes down clutching his leg, decides he wants to continue.
17’ – Portland keeper restarts the game, clears the ball and immediately calls for a sub.
18’ – Meanwhile, Hagglund goes down in an odd tackle and stays down.
19’ – SUB – Hagglund off for Hernandez. Also Portland gets their sub but I don’t report such things.
21’ – Altidore lays off a pretty ball into the path of Giovinco and Vytas, my player to watch, makes an absolute nanners tackle to sweep the scoring opportunity at the doorstep away.
23’ – Delgado… C’mon Marky, one touch. Talk to Osorio about what we’ve been saying about the first touch, it changed his career.
54’ – YELLOW – Seba for something
58’ – GOAL – Seba hooks a ball in that gets cleared, then recovered and sent down the left to Morrow, who rockets one over the keeper. Magical.
ROBINS 1, HIPSTERJACKS 0
60’ – Vazquez with a marker bearing down on him fires a shot from inside the penalty area just left of the goal.
68’ – Altidore gets in on goal and fires a low shot heading to the bottom right but backup keeper gets a hand to it and pushes it past the post.
72’ – GOAL – That’s just class. Seba slots a low ball across the face of goal and Vazquez side-foots it in.
ROBINS 2, HIPSTERJACKS 0
76’ – GOAL – The entertainers are here! A back heel, some misdirection, and it ends with Morrow blasting one in. Amazing stuff.
ROBINS 3, HIPSTERJACKS 0
79’ – SUB – Osorio off for Vazquez.
83’ – SUB – Ricketts on for Altidore
85’ – Delgado threads a beautiful ball into the box and Seba has to lunge to get a foot to it but pulls it wide.
87’ – GOAL – Ball played ahead to Ricketts who gets clattered, but the ref let it play and Delgado picked up the loose ball and ONE TOUCH buries it Morrow-styles.
ROBINS 4, HIPSTERJACKS 0
89’ – GOAL – Diego Valeri runs about ten yards, beating a few defenders and pops it over Bono’s left side.
ROBINS 4, HIPSTERJACKS 1
3 mins of extra time
Full Time : Toronto 4, Portland 1
Man of the Match : So many good performances, Morrow for the brace
Goat of the Game : pass
Ref Rating : 3 out of 5, he let alot go but it was even
I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : Masterclass
In Case You PVR’d It : it’s an interesting game. Watch it all.
Kit Spotting : Duncan wore his 90-91 Darlington home kit and it’s gloriously dated.
Bold Predictions Results :
- Nailed it. And Valeri walked it in. Sorta.
- Failed it. No VAR.
- Nailed it. Called it with one to spare.
First off, full marks to the Portland away supporters. I think it’s sad that they have their seats all the way out in Markham (north east corner), especially how much they can offer a match in terms of atmosphere. Can we FIND a way to put them in the north end? They deserve to be on the telly especially if they’re travelling over 4,200 km to be here… Giovinco was bullied and clattered a bit today and kept his composure. Made a bunch of good runs and passes. I like this Seba… When I realized Valeri had the ball at four-nil and was attacking the penalty area, I figured that this would be the type of goal that would ruin the clean sheet, and it did… I half expected Morrow to get the hook once he bagged his second. It’s a pattern… There seemed to be some fanciness amongst some of the plays and ball movement. I suppose “class” would be an appropriate word too. Back heels, awareness of teammates, some absurd luck for variety… Delgado must of heard out protestations after his first touch gave a defender enough time to block his shot. He made more mistake the second time. Well taken sir… I miss Cheyrou warming up. I hope he’s doing well… There was an odd sigh of relief when the first goal went in. Lately it feels like they outplay their opposition and get a point. There was a larger sigh when the second one went in… Did The Sun nick the Godfather tifo idea, was it coordinated or was it coincidence? I suppose I could look it up but the phone is dying [Edit : the Sun image in question was from January 2015, and was confused by a tweet that I assumed meant the article was published the day before the game. My apologies to all involved and any confusion that may have caused. It was truly brilliant.]… Y’all should try foot-golf. It’s fun.
Player Ratings : Bono 6, Zavaleta 6.5, Mavinga 6, Hagglund N/A (Hernandez 6.5), Hasler 6, Morrow 8.5, Vazquez 7.5 (Osorio N/A), Delgado 7, Bradley 7, Giovinco 7, Altidore 6.5 (Ricketts N/A)
Unused Substitutions : Irwin, Endoh, Chapman, Edwards

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