
The gang is mostly here to recap a month’s worth of news, including new #TFClive new coaching staff and loanees, #NSL big player signings, #CanPL roster shuffling, new #CanWNT coach and a bunch of malarkey. In this episode Mark is sure Toronto is playing the New Zealand Rugby Team this time, Kristin is disappointed in Quinn (for not signing with Toronto) and Duncan dissects Ottawa’s new gaffer’s butt-kissing quotes.
Show Rundown
- Segment 1: What’s been happening (6m32s)
- New #TFClive coaching staff
- New #CanWNT coach
- New Atletico Ottawa coach
- Some #TFClive signings and releases
- #CanPL transfers
- Segment 2: What we’re talking about (1h11m51s)
- Toronto to Spain for pre-season
- Badibanga contract cancellation with Forge
- #NSL with some big name signings
- Vancouver Rise to play out of Swangard
- Segment 3: What’s coming up (1h42m42s)
- #TFClive vs BK Hacken
- TFC Schedule and how it’s kinda nice
- CONCACAF Champions Cup
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January 23, 2025
So Toronto FC hired a new guy. Run this operation, says he’s the man for the job. Been in town before. But he’s going to be playing with the big boys now. Things are going to be real different. In the hick towns down south they ain’t noticing any schemes he’s playing. In the great white north a hoser can’t slip into the background.
He needs to know a few things, I’ve got the scoop on the press. The story on the streets in this town is a long one. Folks around here have seen them all before, grifters, goons and goofs. It’s been a gong show that never lets up, one kerfuffle after another. I’ll set him straight and give him the cold hard truth…
If ya thinks it’s going to be easy, ya better think twice. Your thinking it’s a nice cushy job with a fat paycheck. They’ll give ya a swanky office on the top floor with a view. A fancy joint with all the bells and whistles. Dream big up there. But this place has plenty of broken dreams and some fellows end up with broken bones.
Ya see around here things aren’t what they seem. If ya got some smarts, don’t be fooled by the wholesome scenes of the winter wonderland this time of the year. That thick layer of snow is good for one thing… hiding all the bodies.
If ya wanna peek in the alleys of this league, ya gonna regret it. You’ve got to take a hot shower to clean all the stink off from this town. But no matter how much ya scrub, some dirt always sticks.
Never let your guard down. Folks might seem neighborly and have a big smile on their faces. But they are always hiding a bigger knife, sharpened real good. And their waiting to carve the next turkey that comes walking into town. And ya seem real plump and juicy. Their licking their lips right now.
So you’re here to fix all the troubles and everyone will see the good deeds. No need to drone on and on about it. You’ll be shadowed real close, but hear that sound? That ain’t the cops flying in the chopper… Someone from above has his peepers on ya, waiting to see ya trip. Problem is, no one is going to be their to catch your fall.
In these parts it gets real chilly in the night. Make sure the doors and windows are shut tight and bolted down. And have a thick blanket. Thick enough to stop a cold blade cutting through for some hot blood. Ya just might wanna sleep with one eye open.
And another thing… Watch out for a skirt with the curves and those nice gams. One day she’ll come prancing into the upper management’s office. She’s got the body that’s so hot you’ll hope she steams your hotdog. But ya should know that it’s her eyes that tell the truth. Those baby blues are as cold as ice. And her heart is even colder.
Well, she’ll whisper how she’s got what the team’s looking for. And it will cost ya almost nothing. Some royal player from far away, that’s worth his weight in gold. The king of the pitch she says. Just sign him, he will rule this league for a hundred years.
It’s real hard to say no to a doll like that when she’s pressed so tight on ya. And next thing ya know, someone in management has signed him. But chances are its your last will that was signed.
Turns out this fellow peaked in the age of the Pharaoh’s. He’s bandaged all over and stiff as a board. Your stuck with him and cursed for a hundred years of bad luck. Cry all you want but nobody will listen, not even your mummy. Not even a hug to console ya, just a death grip.
And another thing to consider. The supporters might be happy to see ya, sending a dozen roses. But they are a fickle bunch. Their mood can turn real fast. Next thing ya know they do a nice little drive by with a Tommy gun and deliver a dozen bullets. Those flowers will be put to good use at your funeral.
As for the authorities, well they seem a step behind every time. They got a real knack of disappearing when they are needed the most. The CSA and USSF are lightweights around here.
Don’t listen to anyone saying anything different about this league. The real power is with the Don. You don’t need to shake the stool pigeon till he squawks to know that. Garber controls this racket from west side to east side.
Management better make sure to follow his rules nice and tidy. Problem is he changes them on a dime. Those that aren’t quick enough, are going to be a few pennies short.
Maybe ya think management can get in the good books with the real boss. The Don might show ya a briefcase full of bucks. I bet your eyes will be popping out like ya just saw the burlesque dancer downtown take off her top. But don’t be fooled, these Garber bucks, like that ladies bosom are fake! That won’t even buy ya a shovel to give a proper burial to those skeletons in the closet in this town. You’ll have to pass off that briefcase of counterfeits to another sucker in the league. Their is always some chump who thinks he can turn this funny money into gold.
In this league ya gotta know how to play the game before the game plays you. That’s wacha gonna do. Cause folks are always looking for a new sap with gambling hands. Remember the dice are loaded and the cards are marked.
If one day the elevator isn’t working then ya better watch your step.
Ya see, the doorway to the stairs down from your big office is dark and cold. The steps seem real steep. In the early days everyone has warm words for ya. But one day it will be salty tongues doing the talking. But they forget to leave some salt for those icy stairs…
Next thing ya know someone gives ya a big shove, they want to bump you off. As ya stumble down hard all the way down to the bottom, ya realize the situation. You were framed, it was all part of their plan.
You are the guy they wanted… The fall guy.