The South Stand Report : Toronto v New York

New York Red Bulls as the Cosmos

New York Red Bulls as the Cosmos

What a perfect afternoon for a football match. The sun is shining, not too hot, and the team is honouring legend Dwayne DeRosario. I almost don’t care if they win.

Kidding. Mostly.

Bold Predictions :

  1. Toronto wins
  2. No Wright-Phillips on the score sheet
  3. Osorio will do another one touch in successive games in an attacking position towards goal (goal notwithstanding)

On to the Match :

12’ – GOAL – ball crossed into the box by Filipe and redirected past Bono by Beitashour. Own goal. Ugh.
ROBINS 0, BEVERAGES 1

17’ – Osorio did it! He didn’t score be he dragged his foot to make contact and just missed the inside of goal. Good on you sir. Very good on you.

23’ – Altidore gets sent through, gets taken off the ball, gets it, dances around Robles and desperately tries to slide it past the post but just misses. Bull in a China shop.

31’ – GOAL – Zavaleta gets mugged and the ball finds Bradley Wright-Phillips who beats his mark, dances in on goal, pops it over Bono. Too easy.
ROBINS 0, BEVERAGES 2

41’ – GOAL – Morrow down the wing, cuts back a ball right through the box, finds Bradley 15 yards out dead centre and buries it.
ROBINS 1, BEVERAGES 2

49’ – GOAL – Dammit. BWP gets free and pops another ball over Bono. We talked about this specifically on the podcast!
ROBINS 1, BEVERAGES 3

Quote of the Match :

Based on averages, New York should score one more, and Toronto should score another and finish 4-2

~ The wife

You can’t deny the logic.  The way this game is going…

53’ – SUB – Delgado off for Cooper

63’ – SUB – Johnson off for Lovitz

63’ – SUB – Ebdoh in for Zavaleta

67’ – GOAL Altidore gets hip checked and draws a foul from 20 yards out. Takes the free kick, pops it over the wall and Robles has to pick it out. Holy shit.
ROBINS 2, BEVERAGES 3

75’ – Altidore gets up for a header and nearly superman’s it past a diving Robles. He’s trying do it all and just might.

87’ – GOAL – turns with Collin on top of him at the top of the box, gets a fumbling shot off but it’s enough for Altidore to beat Robles.
ROBINS 3, BEVERAGES 3

5 mins of extra time

90+1’ – harrowing stuff. Counter attack, one touch from Osorio, Endoh and Lovitz gets crumpled.

Full Time : Toronto 3, New York 3

Man of the Match : Jozy Altidore

Goat of the Game : Zavaleta had a bad night. Almost goat-worthy, but he may have been over his head with Wright-Phillips

Ref Rating : 3 out of 5. Ref wasn’t bad. Linesman was.

I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : whatever changes were made at half-time were masterful.

In Case You PVR’d It : This has been a classic. Enjoy.

Kit Spotting : Brisbane Roar home is surprising. He was a visitor on conference from Brisbane. Brilliant stuff. Good match to see.

Bold Predictions Results :

  1. Failed it. Toronto wins
  2. Failed it. No Wright-Phillips on the score sheet
  3. Nailed it. Osorio will do another one touch in successive games in an attacking position towards goal (goal notwithstanding)

Two notes.

First off, the drums behind us in 118 were excellent. Didn’t play relentlessly for 90 minutes and at a deafening volume. Played on and off throughout the game and picked their spots. I didn’t have to yell at my neighbours to have a conversation at all through the match. Thank you. I genuinely look forward to hearing you guys next game.

Secondly, Altidore was an absolute force of nature tonight. He played like a designated player should. He was dominant, strong, and put the side on his back. He was a leader and I was a massive fan of him tonight. Hell, I’m a massive fan of him right now.

There seems to be a segment of people who believe that somehow, saying he was shit before is a “see I told you so” opportunity, except, pre-injury Altidore was an on-pitch liability who showed no confidence, no awareness and the “great off-the-ball” line was, and still is, a weak line of excuses to mask for the lack of production on the ball.

Post-injury Altidore is the polar opposite. There’s no quit in this Altidore. Teeming with confidence. Thoughtful. Aware. And most importantly, a viable goal scoring threat with as little as a half-chance (see goal #3 for Toronto).

Altidore was terrible, over-paid, over-rated and a punchline.

Altidore is, currently, exactly as prescribed, possibly stronger and deadlier than given credit for and worth every penny.

This isn’t revisionism. This is a fact.

Well done sir. I am converted.

Player Ratings : Bono 6, Beitashour 6, Zavaleta 6 [Endoh N/A], Moor 6, Morrow 6.5, Bradley 7, Johnson 6 [Lovitz N/A], Delgado 6.5 [Cooper N/A], Osorio 6.5, Altidore 10, Hamilton 6.5

Unused Substitutes : Irwin, Hagglund, Cheyrou, Babouli

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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1 Comment

  1. My wife even became interested in this game as the plot line unfolded.

    I thought Beitashour was the real goat in this game. He hoofed the first RB goal in himself, some can forgive him for trying to stop the cross. But it was the goal in which he was caught deep in the opposition’s corner and never really got out of a trot or light run. Zaveleta got hung out on that one. I think that trumps Zav foot stomping the ball and falling over while kicking it to Wright-Philips.

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