The gang is mostly here to wrap-up the #FIFAWWC and Spain’s victory, recap the #TFClive match vs Montreal, look ahead to Columbus, some #CanMNT news, and the usual malarkey. In this episode, Mark wants to normalize high-competition high-pressure-induced potty mouthing, Duncan drew quite the parallels between authority types and Kristin doesn’t want to use the acronym (with good reason).
Show Rundown
- Segment 1: What’s been happening (5m49s)
- Segment 2: What we’re talking about (51m09s)
- Segment 3: What’s coming up (1h32m45s)
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August 23, 2023
So you are going to talk about CPL next week. I’m not so sure that is a good idea with Duncan around…
The top of the CPL table is getting interesting. Almost every team is trying to get their head in front of the other. Except of course Vancouver FC, who’s head isn’t into it. Though they did win against their rivals.
As a devoted CIBC employee Duncan must be distraught by the current situation of Vancouver FC.
CIBC is proudly displayed on Vancouver FC’s kit but their performance is nothing to be proud about. It’s a grave insult to everything that CIBC stands for.
He must fret that the esteemed CEO of the glorious firm will glance west from the tall tower in Toronto. This sacrilege to the name won’t be tolerated for long.
How could he, a humble servant of the lord explain such pitiful results? He does not question his master’s methods or madness but the lord has imperial designs on the Canadian Premier League.
It’s just one step in his master’s conquest of this land. If it is his wish it shall be done.
If he must, Duncan will pick up the sword and vanquish the foes of CIBC. Whoever it may be, those scavengers from Scotiabank or those feral beasts at BMO. He will relish to give them the edge of his blade with the same glee that he offers clients the investment edge of CIBC.
All he asks for in return is to be in consideration for the employee of the month award. To think one fateful day, Duncan may get the opportunity to bow down to his master, as he sits on his thrown of skulls and recieve the award for his deeds. His purpose in life is to serve the dark lord and his CIBC clients. His devotion is unparalleled, in servitude his body and soul has committed to the tasks no matter how difficult it may be.
And for those swine that dare attack CIBC, their piggy banks will be obliterated! Every branch is as secure as CIBC’s GIC’s. The enemies will find no weakness here! Only the iron strength and quality investments of the bastion of power that is CIBC!
He welcomes all those that support their local CIBC branch. His clients can be assured their wealth shall be protected in the treasure room. Not even one shinny penny will be sullied by filthy scum. For Duncan knows in this land Canadian pennies are a rare sight and is almost as precious as the dark lord’s ring.
The fools that challenge the lord will surely perish if they do not flee. Victory is certain. Duncan will feast on the entrails from their disaboweled bodies. He will savor it!
The end is near for those cowering from him. They cannot hide for long from the wrath of the dark lord and his minions. If they wished to be saved they should of opened a CIBC savings account. And those who surrender will be tortured in so many ways, almost as varied as the comprehensive list of investment securities offered at CIBC.
A company of the highest quality. Certain standards are expected from the dark lord.
The lord’s hunger for what he desires grows by the day while his patience is wearing thinner by the minute…
I fear if Duncan fails to present the Canadian Premier League plate, then the dark lord will get a plate with Duncan’s head instead!