Episode 584 – 26/09/01 #NotAFoodPodcast

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One response to “Episode 584 – 26/09/01 #NotAFoodPodcast”

1. 

   Mr Fishhead

   September 7, 2026

   Kristin walks into the room with an angry frown…

   Duncan- Why are you upset?

   Kristin- Don’t watch reality TV. It makes me so angry.

   Mark- I know what this is about. You watched the last episode of Real Houswives of Peterborough.

   Duncan- What happened?

   Mark- Trisha was going to have a romantic canoe ride but Janice got to the river first and drilled a hole in the canoe! It was hilarious.

   Kristin- That wasn’t funny, I knew that floozy was up to no good. Trisha could have drowned.

   Mark- Come now, you haven’t noticed those two huge balloons on her chest? Trisha isn’t drowning, I’m surprised she isn’t levitating off the ground.

   Kristin- I only notice her uplifting spirit. More in tune with the good people of Peterborough and the surrounding communities.

   Mark- You got to admit Janice spices up the show.

   Kristin- No, I’ll scream if she is in the season finale and gets the key to the city from the mayor.

   Duncan- Key to the city? What does that open?

   Mark- Probably the Canoe museum and the local Zoo.

   Kristin- She should be banned for life from the Canoe museum. I would lock her up in a cage at the Zoo.

   Mark- Remember when she wore that tiny leopard print bikini? For her own safety she should be locked up. Every horn dog in town was drooling with her prancing downtown.

   Kristin- They should chase her to the first train out of town. Somewhere that suits her character… hell! Or at least Hamilton

   Mark- Hey! Is that a dig at Hamilton?

   Kristin- Sorry Mark, her third ex husband is from Hamilton.

   Mark- That reminds me, Real Housewives of Hamilton season premiere is coming this fall. Maybe Janice will make a special appearance. If she moves around here I will welcome her to a Forge game.

   Kristin- No! Don’t trust her. You can’t take your eyes off that saucy slut for one second. Next thing you know she will empty a bottle of wine and start grinding her body on the ref. Don’t underestimate her, she will corrupt the game!

   Duncan- Oh dear! No respect for the laws of the game.

   Mark- Well the folks in Hamilton aren’t like the high class people in Peterborough. I say you do you Janice. Who am I to judge? Anyway, if that helps Forge win a game then all the better.

   Duncan- When is the premiere?

   Mark- October 31st… Do you know what that means?

   Duncan- Not sure.

   Mark- Hamilton hotties wearing sexy Halloween costumes!

   Kristin rolls her eyes- I can’t imagine what depraved outfits they are going to wear. Duncan, don’t watch any of this garbage.

   Duncan- I won’t debase myself watching such low brow spectacles. How do I avoid watching such rubbish?

   Mark- Don’t get the Rogers premium cable package plus. You get Reality Canada Channel and Reality Canada Classic.

   Duncan- Reality Canada Classic?

   Mark- You get reruns of the best seasons of reality TV. Like the third season of The Great Canadian Real Housewives Bakeoff.

   Duncan- I am partial to culinary shows.

   Kristin- It’s more backstabbing then baking.

   Mark- Remember that episode when Stacy tries to sway the judge?

   Kristin- Those judges are corrupt.

   Mark- Duncan, she offered her special cream pie to the judge… If you know what I mean, wink, wink!

   Duncan- Say no more!

   Kristin- I can’t believe I watched that whole season.

   Mark- And they have reruns of Survivor, Baffin Island, Real Housewives Edition.

   Duncan- Housewives on Baffin Island!

   Mark- It’s even better then it sounds.

   Kristin- They dumped a bunch of backstabbing bitches on the island. That is some kind of crime against humanity! I was horrified.

   Mark- I mean why did Casey think that gown with the plunging neckline would be appropriate attire for Baffin Island? Vancouver Island, maybe. And high heels in the snow? What was she thinking?

   Kristin- She isn’t the brightest of the bunch. I’m surprised a polar bear didn’t attack her.

   Mark- Well I think the bears know who the real apex predators on the island are. But you know what Duncan?

   Duncan- What?

   Mark- They have that can do attitude and ingenuity that makes me proud to be a Canadian. It almost brings a tear to my eye. I’m sure their isn’t a shortage of men that would be happy to make those ladies one of their ex wives.

   Kristin- Duncan, don’t watch any of that trash. It’s junk food, have a healthy carrot. Watch the Math Channel, Physics Channel, or Science Channel.

   Mark- Duncan, if you like numbers, you should check out Casey’s numbers, 42- 27- 41 inches. Her rack defies the laws of physics. And the strangest thing is that I think their natural. Scientists should study them.

   Duncan- How much for that cable package?

   Mark- Triple the cost of Rogers basic cable.

   Duncan- Those bitches at Rogers. I know who the real whores are…

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