The gang is mostly here to catch up on #TFClive vs Houston, preview DC United, #VCup semi-final second legs with TFC vs. Forge and Whitecaps v. Pacific, recap some #CanPL news, some #CanMNT news, Leagues Cup final (finally), and the usual malarkey. In this episode, Kristin pronounces Wydad correctly (that we know of), Duncan calls this round of the drone nonsense ‘shenanigans’, and Mark properly demonstrates the eroded excitement of having a ticket that gets you into the CNE.
Show Rundown
- Segment 1: What’s been happening (11m19s)
- Review #TFClive vs Houston
- Cassius Malulla to Wydad Athletic on load
- Segment 2: What we’re talking about (26m56s)
- #CanMNT vs Panama friendly announced
- AFC Toronto teases a stadium location (which may or may not be York University)
- #CanPL recap
- Segment 3: What’s coming up (58m36s)
- Preview #TFClive vs Forge in the Voyageurs Cup semi-final
- Preview #TFClive vs DC United
Show References
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August 28, 2024
Turns on the TV…
Announcer, “A special sneak peak of the new series coming only on NBC this fall… Soccer Cop!
Announcer, “He is a street wise soccer cop that plays by his own rules.”
Scene of a disheveled cop looking at a dirty underinflated soccer ball resting on the grass. He shakes his head and says,
“Soccer use to be a nice game that the good kids played in this town. A wholesome family sport. Now the street trash, slime balls and sleaze bags have invaded the pitch. And the wimps, wussies and weasels are letting it happen in broad daylight! Well it’s my job to clean up this garbage. Even if it means a few drops of blood get on the grass, I’ll do it or die trying.”
Scene of the Soccer cop confronting a player on the pitch who has a smirk on his face. He says to him,
“Listen maggot! The yellow card is being waved at you for a reason.”
He pulls out his gun and says,
“You see this?! It’s a 44 Magnum. When I wave this, people know I mean business. I’ll admit it, I’m a little trigger happy. So you better respect the laws of the game or your going to have problems kicking when your foot looks like Swiss cheese!”
Scene of the Soccer cop with the chief in an office who is angrily yelling at the disheveled cop. The chief says,
“In this soccer precinct we go strictly by the book. Your going way out of line. Your this close to be going on suspension again! After that last incident at the stadium I don’t know what’s worse, you or the crooks?!”
Soccer cop, “So I bend the rules a little but I get results.”
Chief responds, “Shooting that drone at the stadium! With a bazooka?! You took it out and other side of the stadium!”
Soccer Cop, “Well, those seats were for away supporters anyway.”
“Listen up! Your ass is on the line. I’m ordering you to keep your nose clean. I just got off the phone with the mayor and the commissioner of Major League Soccer is having a big meeting in town.”
“I don’t trust this Garber.”
“I don’t what to hear it! Don Garber is an honest businessman and a staple of this soccer community!”
“But chief! He’s up no good. I can feel it in my gut. My stomach is twisting in knots. Or maybe it was that food at the Ex. You would be surprised at the things they pickle and deep fry these days.”
Scene at a large banquet hall full of upper class men drinking champagne and eating cavier. Don Garber stands up front at a podium surrounded by thugs.
Garber,
“I am happy to report that our franchise business has increased in value by 30%. Our counterfeit Garber dollars have been funneled into our black market weapons trade and our international drug enterprise. The new MLS kits made out of kitten and puppy furs will soon be finished. Also we have prepared the first stage of planning for our newest competition, the Super, Supreme, Ultimate, Extreme, Mega leagues cup brought to you by Mountain Dew. Available exclusively on AppleTV. ”
The owners clap in unison in their, top hats, monucles, bow ties and tuxedos.
Soccer cop smashes through the window, and lands on the dinner table with gun drawn and says,
“This party is over, Don! You’ll get a red card for your soccer crimes. A card covered in your blood!”
Announcer, “Stay tuned for the exciting new series coming this fall, only on NBC! Don’t miss it. NBC, where the stars shine the brightest!”