South Couch Report : Montreal v Toronto

Montreal Impact as the Manic

The Part I Write Before :

What a week. First a 200th episode of the podcast, then advancing to the semi-final of your #MomsCCL, and now a derby in Montreal on St Patrick’s Day.

Bold Predictions : Courtesy of the missus

  1. Vanney ejection (harsh)
  2. Interruption in game from wild animal (bizarre)
  3. Morgan gets a point (ridiculous)

On to the Match :

21′ – I’ve just noticed now that the desire for a Montreal midfielder to get seriously hurt is absent. Just looked up that Donadel is on the bench. Stay there, you bastard.

28′ – Nice counter, Oso to Giovinco to van der Weil, cross from the right side doesn’t have enough pace behind it to reach Altidore, but goes out for a corner.

30′ – Piatti gets the ball at the edge of the box, I panic, but Moor doesn’t and clears it.

33′ – Giovinco takes a wee pass from Osorio just at the top of the box, settles it and fires it forcing Bush to make a save.

35′ – YELLOW Bradley goes into book for a clumsy tackle, but it’s really accumulation for a string of mistimed tackles.

41′ – GOALPiatti runs at the Toronto defenders, dishes off to Vargas, fires it, takes a deflection off of a lunging Hagglund, and beats Bono.

42′ – Is this a replay? Piatti runs at defenders AGAIN, shrugs off Moor, Zavaleta gets faked out and takes a shot but Hagglund gets in front to prevent further carnage.

45′ – GUYS! PICK UP PIATTI!!! Gets on the end of a cute chip pass, settles it, Zavaleta gets lost a bit and Piatti fires but Hagglund makes another stop.

Halftime Mood : OMG Piatti. OMG.

58′ – Vargas does an gorgeous 1-2 with Piatti, in alone and fires past Bono and past the post.

59′ – SUB Hagglund off for Delgado

59′ – SUB Aketxe off for Hasle

62′ – Piatti shot right at Bono. If you were going shot for shot with Nacho, you’d be feeling a buzz by now.

64′ – Giovinco loops a ball over the top, Altidore takes it on the chest, pops the keeper, but goes wide of the far post.

66′ – SUB Auro in for Morgan

70′ – Vargas gets sprung alone at goal, redirects the ball past Bono, into the net. Offside.

72′ – Giovinco has a go from outside the box, but fires just wide.

75′ – Zavaleta gets a leg in on a tackle inside the box, ref calls no penalty, buuuuuut… I think Toronto got away with that one.  Replay shows sublime form in diving, but if he fell like a normal obstructed player, he’d probably get it.  His leg got in the way of progress inside the penalty area, but he chose his lot.

77′ – Hasler gets a header right at Bush

80′ – Bradley gets in on goal with a through ball, but his shot hits Bush. Rough angle.

82′ – the telly just flashed Donadel is getting ready to come in. Fuck. That. Guy.

84′ – Gah! Altidore gets a great ball from Delgado, jukes to lose his marker, fires it, beats Bush, but the trickling ball gets cleared off the line by Petrasso. Ugh.


87′ – Bradley launches a low curling shot from 25 yards just goes wide of the post.

4 minutes of extra time

90+4′ – Giovinco free kick launches into the car park. Also Donadel gets a yellow card for just being him.

Full Time : Montreal 1, Toronto 0

Man of the Match : Piatti by a wide margin.
Goat of the Game : Um… Donadel #fuckThatGuy
Ref Rating : 3 out of 5
I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : cloning Vazquez should be under his auspices. Otherwise, it didn’t work.
In Case You PVR’d It : Watch the last 15 minutes of the first half, last half-hour of the second. Skip the rest.

Bold Predictions Results : Courtesy of the missus

  1. Failed it. Vanney wasn’t terribly subversive.
  2. Failed it. No actual wildlife, but I’m sure there were a few birds flipped at Donadel.
  3. Failed it. Nothing from our nastly left back.

I really missed Vazquez. I’m sure his teammates missed him more, but his absence was markedly noticed. Bradley as the play maker and defensive support comes back to that first season problem – being everything to everyone.  He was passable at both but not particularly good at either… Moor had a much better day.  Piatti should’ve had a bucket-load of goals today, but he did his part in being enough of a pain in the ass to keep it low… Bono’s keeper kit reminds me of this Liverpool away 93-95. Also dug Bush’s orange number. This is the year of the keeper kit.  Get’em while they’re hot (you can get unbranded ones – the model is Adidas Adipro 18 Goalkeeper Jersey)… I still have patience for the new kids. It helps that the side is anemic right now, so it’s difficult to pin the lackluster non-CONCACAF performances on them.  Noticed more offensive play from van der Weil, but defensive is lacking… How awesome is Osorio these days? Enjoyed his contributions on that mess they called a pitch… “it would’ve been the third game in a row where a Chilean named Vargas would’ve scored against them” (paraphrasing).  So good @LukeWileman

Player Ratings: Bono 6, Moor 6.5, Hagglund 6.5 (Delgado N/A), Zavaleta 6, Agetxe 6 (Hasler 6), van der Wiel 6, Morgan 6 (Auro N/A), Osorio 6.5, Bradley 6, Altidore 6, Giovinco 6

Unused Substitutions: Irwin, Mavinga, Hamilton, Chapman

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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  1. Well it has been two weeks since the disjointed game against the Crew, and the team is still struggling in some areas. While the Reds are gelling, notably Osorio quick transition play and dare I say box-to-box work, Bradley’s overall position on the pitch and small breakthroughs from Seba and Altidore show improvement. Moor , Haggluand and Zav are working hard and despite some awkward moments the trio is generally closing things down. Morgan did well based on the amount of game time he has gotten. GVDW still needs development time to be comfortable in his new team and league. Aketex is looking to me like he will need quite a bit of time, maybe next year, perhaps the warmer weather will help his play, but he is a way away from reliably helping the team. You know TFC 2 time would give him the experience he needs, while it may be a slap to his ego.

    Remarkably the team that seems to always finds a way to score, have not scored in half the games they have played in anger, in 2018. Delicate imbalances in the lineup have contributed to gaps between defense, midfield and strikers on attack and defense. Giovinco and Altidore’s deep fallbacks on defense as the games wear on point to this.

    At least that is what I think.

    Yep, Bono’s kit caught my eye as an old school 90’s style, but you nailed it.

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  2. Oh tell Kristin, that Club America does have at least one player named Vargas. Carlos Vargas is a defender and is a youngster, only 19 years of age.

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