The South Couch Report : DC v Toronto

DC United as the DC Diplomats

DC United as the DC Diplomats

Dontcha hate it when your opponent really catches fire just before you see them at home?


Toronto had a snoozer last week where the stole a point against New England. Hopefully this will be significantly less boring. I don’t think I could take it.

I’ve taken a nap, I have my slurpee and I’ve got a bottle of tequila ready to add to that slurpee, if necessary.

On to the match :

1’ – GOAL – Altidore picks up a cross, slots a very cute ball across the face of goal, finds Delgado who gets a touch but tackled and Giovinco is right there to put in in.

4’ – The nerve of Giovinco, bullying Boswell like that. Short guys can be such jerks. #sarcasm #lolz

6’ – Giovinco crosses a ball to Delgado, dinks it back to Altidore, settles it and fires at goal. Easy save.

7’ – Nyarko gets through ball on to goal but Morrow with a quality tackle to take the shot away.

10’ – Epindola takes a long throw in and nearly pokes one in from close quarters, but just goes wide of the post.

26’ – Jason de Vos makes a “Little and Large” reference. Duncan wins tonight assuming knowing that JdV listens to his opinions on the podcast. #justice

27’ – Bradley cross misses everyone forcing the DC keeper to make a quick stop to clear it out of danger/

30’ – Johnson looks like he’s gonna fight Sarvas #fingersCrossed

31’ – bit of desperation defending, and it worked enough ad Nyarko fires it forcing a big save from Irwin

35’ – YELLOW – Altidore gets booked for a tackle from behind

42’ – another frenetic moment on the Toronto penalty area, gathered by Irwin

45’ – Bradley free kick finds Williams free of his marker and heads his chance well over the bar.

Half-Time Mood : it’s far more interesting than last week, but that’s not a difficult goal to reach

48’ – nice tackle by Johnson on Espindola, who goes down looking like he’s having a pregnancy scare

63’ – Beautifully weighted ball from Bradley to Delgado, ends up with a corner kick

65’ – SUB – Chapman comes in for Delgado

68’ – SUB – Perquis in for Williams

82’ – Irwin leaps into the air to gather a cross, and comes clattering down on a pile of bodies. Shaken up a bit, but is OK #notTimeWasting

87’ – Beitashour heads a fast cross floating into to the box out to touch. Ensuing corner results in a goal kick.

88’ – YELLOW – Irwin for time wasting #OKthatWasTimeWasting

5 minutes of extra time

90+1’ – Williams comes up with a great tackle, pops it to a running Altidore waits for reinforcements, falls for Johnson, passes to Giovinco and he fires wide under pressure. Johnson oddly looked gassed from that entire manouvre, with hands on knees, while play was still going.

90+3’ – Giovinco fires a looping ball but just lands over the bar.

90+4’ – Giovinco lays the ball off for Osorio, passes it out wide for Johnson, settles it and fires it forcing a save.

90+5’ – Excellent job killing the clock at the death in the DC end, Altidore drawing a yellow card for Birnbaum and a free kick 20 yards out.


Man of the Match : Drew Moor was excellent. Honorable mention goes to Irwin, again.

Goat of the Game : I can’t really name one…

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5. No problems.

I Am Not The Gaffer, But : Naw, we good.

In Case You PVR’d It : Watch the first 20 minutes, then skip to the last half hour.

Turns out, didn’t need the tequila.  It was a passable match… Will Johnson’s petulance face is magical. Looks like an annoying 7-year-old but on the head of an adult… Man, I really do like the blue shorts. It looks more “Toronto” than Toronto FC, but that’s what I’ve always felt… Every time during the late stages of the match that DC was pressing, I never had the sensation of “this is where they shit the bed” like the previous seasons. All of the previous seasons… I always get nervous when I see the DC supporters bouncing in their sections. Stadiums shouldn’t be bouncy, don’t care how fun it sounds… The broadcast confirmed that the first minute goal was the fastest goal in TFC history. I’m sure they’ve conceded one even faster than that. #history… Half-time interview with TFC President Bill Manning, was asked about MLS plans going to 28 teams and if there was going to be a delusion of talent. He responded that it was “global talent pool and that there isn’t a dilution of talent”. So, there ISN’T a limit on foreign players now? Interesting… From what I recall, Osorio didn’t make a pass forward, but he did make that lateral one at the end, so there’s something.

Player Ratings : Irwin 7.5, Beitashour 6.5, Williams 6 [Williams N/A], Moor 8, Morrow 7, Delgado 6.5 [Chapman N/A], Johnson 6.5, Bradley 6.5, Osorio 6, Altidore 6, Giovinco 7

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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  1. Johnson reminds me of kids I went to grade 1 , 2 and 3 with.

    Yeah, I can understand the MotM to Moor, but i would give it to Bradley and Johnson. Both midfielders ran over the Himalayas and chopped down DCU attacks, today.

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    • That would be dilution not delusion.

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    • I think I could’ve been swayed by either Bradley or Johnson for MotM. Both of them were very good.

      Also, if Johnson wasn’t on Toronto and he made that face, how badly would you want to slap it? 🙂

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  2. have toronto conceded one quicker than that. yes, dallas last year scored within 30 seconds. not sure if that’s the record but we’ve done it at least once.

    decent game really, first half was a bit dodgy defending, dc had plenty of chances, though irwin didn’t have to make any great saves this week, had plenty to do though and did a good job of it. second half we just thoroughly killed it off and they barely had anything going at all, very professionally done, nice to see. someone noted on twitter how remarkable it is that will johnson doesn’t get booked for dissent, he certainly is an angry man. had a very good game today though.

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    • So is the current defensive squad ahead of the great 2010 backline of Attakora-Brennan-Caan-Garcia-Gargan- Harden and youngsters like Henry and Morgan and people I don’t recall being on the team and did not get on the pitch? Is this year’s group, TFC “hall of fame” material?

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      • Brennan couldn’t hack preki and resigned after one game.
        Too soon to tell with this group, but on paper they should be better and so far it’s worked out that way. less than a goal a game is impressive stuff, especially compared to last year’s shit show.

        Bigger test will come when we have the home games and we try and play a bit more attacking, can we keep up the good defence in those circumstances?

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