The South Couch Report : Orlando v Toronto

Orlando City meets Miami Gatos

Orlando City meets Miami Gatos

I’m kinda relieved that this Wednesday game is away. I like home games and all, but sometimes you just wanna lay on the couch, wear your feeted jammie-jams (you know what I’m talking about) and curl up with a cider or three to watch the footie.

The purples (why hasn’t that caught on yet?) have one win in their last ten matches. But all streaks must come to an end and, well, even as supremely talented as Toronto appear to be, they’re still Toronto and I can’t help but think that way. I hope Toronto wins, but this is heady stuff.

Bold Predictions

  1. Only Non-Americans will score
  2. Only Americans will get booked
  3. The Robin’s unbeaten streak ends tonight

On to the Match :

Ahhhh… The audio silk of Vic Rauter… I should grab a blankie and cuddle up.

5’ – Delgado?!? Wow. What a howler of a back pass, lays it off for Larin and Bono makes a great leaping save for the bail out.

6’ – Bradley lays a nice pass to Giovinco, beats his marker then fires way off and wipes out in the process.

7’ – GOAL #ALTITTS *hey!* Giovinco throw in finds Ricketts who steps into third and fourth gears and pops it over Bendik.

13’ – you know, the way they cut the Orlando badge for the side boarding, you might think you’re seeing the eyes of a very angry or intense sun.


17’ – Kaka slides a low ball into the box and a melange of Bono, Larin and Hagglund leads to a save and a slight pile up of bodies.

27’ – TFC a model franchise? I hate to admit it, but they kinda are.

29’ – Bono with a high cross body to stop that attack.  Well done kid.

38’ – Giovinco threads a free kick past a wall forcing a diving punch save from Bendik.

41’ – My new favourite official name : Kermit Quisenberry.  How have I missed this for all these years?!?!  There’s a scarf with a name I’d pay for.

Half-Time Mood : It’s just okay.  I may be ready for a fourth defender, but Orlando don’t seem to be that good.  Bono has been excellent.

45’ – SUB – Chapman off for Zavaleta with a knock.

52’ – YELLOW – Delgado pulls down Garcia and gets booked for his effort.

54’ – Williams cleverly stops a counter attack, but Osorio chokes up the ball and someone on Orlando has a go just wide of the post.

56’ – GOAL – after the latest burst of pressure, it was bound to happen. Williams caught a bit out on a cross that finds the leaping head of Larin and bounces just under the crossbar.

58’ – SUB – Ricketts is off for Altidore.

61’ – These Purples have been very aggressive since the half began. At this rate they should be spent soon.

66’ – Absolute theft! Hagglund with a spot on full volley cross to find Altidore’s head and already in mid-air, Bendik makes a phenomenal save. Everything about it was so good, except for the result.

75’ – SUB – Williams off for Johnson. Huh?

77’ – Thank you Mr. Rauter for finding a way to name drop Kermit Quisenberry whenever necessary.

78’ – Everyone shoot! Osorio blocked by a defender, but Hagglund has a go and forces a big save from Bendik.

81’ – Name drop for Hamilton Steelers legend Mark Watson. Seriously, we need to find out if Vic can do some sound bites for the podcast.

83’ – terrible tackle by Mateos on Osorio. Could have easily been a red, but gets a yellow.

86’ – GOAL – Giovinco sends Altidore onside, beats a sliding Bendik, and then slides it into the empty net. #ALTITTS *hey!*

3 mins of extra time

90+2 – Larin trying to make something out of nothing as he fights off his defender and launches a rocket that rattles of the post.

90+3 – whaddoya mean Altidore is limping?!?

Full Time Make The Final: Orlando 1, Toronto 2

Man of the Match : I can’t say Vic Rauter? FINE! So, I guess Alex Bono gets it.

Goat of the Game : Delgado did make me nervous in the first half, but settled down. Not really goat worthy, but closest candidate.

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5. Even and bookings were fair.

I Am Not The Gaffer But : May have shored up the defence in the second half based on what I saw in the first half, but it worked out somehow.

In Case You PVR’d It : it’s been all over the map. Pick what you like from this report and watch it.

Bold Prediction Results

  1. Failed it. Two Canadians on the score sheet. To be fair, it was very safe until an American stole it.
  2. Failed it. Thanks Seb Hines for getting booked (he’s English).
  3. Failed it. And pleased that I did. Unbeaten in seven.  First place.  Nanners.

Player Ratings : Bono 8, Williams 7 [Johnson N/A], Moor 6.5, Hagglund 6.5, Delgado 6, Chapman 6.5 [Zavaleta 6], Bradley 6.5, Osorio 6.5, Lovitz 6, Ricketts 7 [Altidore 7], Giovinco 6.5

Unused Substitutions : Roberts, Morrow, Endoh, Hamilton

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

Share This Post On

1 Comment

  1. Pinch me someone, pinch me! That is 6 wins in 7 and 7 wins and 2 draw in the past 10! That is outer-worldly for the Toronto sports space. A-N-N-N-D Giovinco, Altidore, Bradley are playing well, probably because the youth core are knocking on some doors. As Vic would say, “oh my, oh my, OH MY!”

    BTW Bradley is running his guts out. Morrow can’t even keep up

    Post a Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *