The South Couch Report : Toronto Barca Canada v D.C. Juve China (mash-up edition)

DC United as the DC Diplomats

DC United as the DC Diplomats

OMG So much delicious footie yesterday.  I passed out by the end of it.  I really couldn’t take any more.  With my adrenaline dumping, I figured this report could wait until tomorrow morning.

Here’s what I remember :

3′ – off of a free kick, Buchanan gets two big attempts on the far left of goal, forcing Chinese keeper Wang Fei to make 2 even bigger stops.

4′ – Inesta breaks into the box and lays off Rakitic who side foots it into goal and Juve’s defenders caught looking

4′ – Espindola takes a long chip that beats everyone but the far corner of the woodwork.

6′ – GOAL – off a corner, Zavaleta misses the low ball coming down, and lands at the foot of Birnbaum who redirects it into the net

17′ – Isn’t Buffon dead yet? That guy is eternal…

23′ – Off of a free kick 20 yards out, Wang Lisi beats McLeod but not the inside top corner of the woodwork, nor the opposite post before bouncing out of the goal area. Damn that was tragic.

23′ – Giovinco Giovincos (now in verb form) around a whole mess of defenders forcing a desperate lunging save from the DC keeper.

33′ – GOAL – Counter attack finds Osorio to Moore to Giovinco, who holds up so he can Giovinco a defender then puts it up over the keeper at a tough angle.

36′ – Crazy moments in the Chinese penalty area, everyone gets a chance and everyone gets blocked.

55′ – GOAL – Carlos Tevez has his first attempt stopped, but Morata jumps on the rebound and buries it

68′ – GOAL – Neymar unleashes a bullet at a diving Buffon, but he can’t hold onto it and Suarez poaches the rebound and buries it

83′ – GOAL Giovinco takes the ball from 22 yards out and classes the crap out of it, burying the ball in the far right of the net.

90+1′ – Despite best efforts to hand DC a point, Konopka comes waaaay off his line to punch a ball that he doesn’t get much on, leaving defenders to scramble as Silva lays it off for Arnaud who goes for glory and mishits it badly and Toronto clear away the danger.

90+1′ – PENALTY – While the ball is bouncing in the area, Leon gets absolutely mugged by Zhao Rong as the ball was coming to her, and the ref points to the spot.

90+2′ – GOAL Sinclair puts it low and into the bottom right corner, out of the reach of the Chinese keeper

90+6′ – GOAL – On the counter attack, 3 on 2, Barcelona toy with the Juve defenders until they free up Neymar, who hammers it home.

FULL TIMES : DC 1, TORONTO 2; CANADA 1, CHINA 0, BARCELONA 3, JUVENTUS 1 (in order of blog preference)

OK, I’m spent again.  I need a nap and a cider.

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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1 Comment

  1. Add to all of this multi-eyeball-viewing experience was that in the MLS all three Canadian based teams won on away dates. In the eastern conference, Montreal and Toronto may end up battling for the conference championship come October.

    Herdman has a very fragile team on his hands. Late in the 1st half Filigno showed her frustration twice on separate plays. Chinese manager Hao Wei responded with a substitution and a further momentum killing maneuver. 2nd half sub, Adriana Leon, saved the day with excellent focus and determination and went for the ball and drew the PK. I will leave the call/no call debate to others.

    BTW – the opening segment at the WWC was clever and Canadian. The UCL opening segment can only be politely described as idiotic, people with coloured cardboard stuck to them, robotically moving around.

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