The South Stand Report : Toronto v Salt Lake

Real Salt Lake as the Las Vegas Quicksilvers

Real Salt Lake as the Las Vegas Quicksilvers

You guys! OMG you guys! We’re going to win the league! Everything is amazing you guys! I love Toron…

*needle scratch*

Whaddoya mean Cheyrou is out with a hamstring injury? Gah…

I know, I know, he wasn’t there for the 3-0 beating to Columbus anyways, but I figure it’s a bit of coasting if you think they’re going to win without a midfield marshall for long stretches. Bradley is resuming training, but he’s out for tonight.

Salt Lake just won their first match in the last seven, with a 2-1 road victory over a sputtering as-of-late Philadelphia side.

Bold Predictions

  1. Giovinco forever! Hooray! A goal!
  2. Osorio gets at least an assist! Wheeee!
  3. Clean sheet for Bono! Huzzah!

On to the Match :

2’ – Beckerman left wide open to the right of Bono but scuffs it well wide of the net.

26’ – Big hustle by Endoh to chase down a long ball, clever cut back to Delgado who bobbles it but has a go and fires just wide.

36’ – Seba, what are you doing? Bullies a defender off the ball, him and Hamilton have a 2 on 2 situation and with ample time to pass, chooses not and loses the ball.

Or as my “a steamed” colleague put it.

@DuncanDFletcher tweeted at 7:45 PM on Wed, Aug 03, 2016:
For fucks sake pass when there’s a man wide open you greedy little bugger.

39’ – Bono left to deal with Plata one on one and makes a quality kick save.

42’ – So much. Chapman nearly superman heads it. Bad clearance. Giovinco shot. Holy shit. Just find it and watch it.

45’ – Controversial… Giovinco called offside but gets hauled down from behind. No booking.

Halftime Mood : started off slow, at least became entertaining by the end.

Quote of the Match :

If they’re going to ignore Hamilton like that, they may as well put Ricketts on now.

~ @boatical

He’s right.

56’ – SUB – Ricketts comes on for Hamilton. Fake shock!

56’ – SUB – Altidore comes on for Chapman. Uncalled for.

Ladies and gentlemen, Jozy Altidore! Tosaint Ricketts!
They are…

60’ – Our ALTITTS chant fits perfectly with the drum-clap thingie.

67’ – Shitty linesman is shit both sides a ball hits the box, gets cleared, fired back in, ricocheted by someone and left Bono glued to the goal line as it rolled past, but called offside.

68’ – GOAL – Altidore flicks on and Giovinco glances the ball for a marauding Ricketts who buries it. #ALTITTS
ROBINS 1, SAND PEOPLE 0 (cuz they play in Sandy, Utah)

78’ – Bono with another outstanding kicksave 10 yards out on Martinez. Fabulous stuff.

83’ – SUB – Hagglund comes on to help park the bus and Endoh gets a rest.

89’ – Seba free kick accurately called by Duncan as “into the wall” happened. Altidore collects the rebound and fires just wide.

3 mins of extra time

90+2’ – Bono makes a good save after it takes a deflection off of a defender

Full Time : Toronto 1, Salt Lake 0

It’s odd because individually, everyone played very well. But collectively, there were moments of nothing going on.  I’m sure the game could’ve used a Cheyrou or Bradley, but the result says “Everything is OK” even if the match said “meh”.

Man of the Match : Alex Bono’s Mysterous Ways lead to an impressive clean sheet

Goat of the Game : Ummm… I want to say Seba… but… I won’t

Ref Rating : 3 out of 5. Suspect calls, but nothing impacting the result for Toronto

I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : Chapman had to come off? Really?

In Case You PVR’d It : Skip the first 35 minutes.  You’ll thank me later.

Kit Spotting : Fenerbahçe away from a year or two ago.

Bold Predictions Results

  1. Failed it. Giovinco not hooray.
  2. Failed it. Osorio did not. No wheee.
  3. Nailed it. Clean sheet for Bono! Huzzah!

I’ve got a headache, so here it goes : Seba had a rough game. He got knocked around a bit, as usual, and didn’t get many of those calls for him.

But Seba had a very questionable moment around the 36th minute that was so obviously bad and blown, it could only had been made more apparent by pyrotechnics and an announcement over the tannoy.  He’s better than that, usually.  I don’t know how he couldn’t have known that Hamilton was running along side of him, wide open.  Hamilton can bury those shots.  Hamilton HAS buried those shots.

The thing that bothers me the most is that Hamilton NEEDED that opportunity, because, to be honest, he’s about to be bench fodder once Altidore is at full match fitness.  Over the last season and a half, Seba has had moments of glory at the expense of passing to a teammate and he’s had moments of embarrassment at the expense of including his teammates, but that was a head-scratcher.  Almost “not passing to a wide open Laurent Robert on the wing” level of bad (which happened and then Robert was released shortly thereafter).  Not quite, but close.

I’m sure there were apologies afterwards, but that was cold.  If you don’t trust your teammates, then something needs to change.

Player Ratings : Bono 8, Beitashour 6.5, Williams 6, Moor 6.5, Morrow 7, Delgado 6.7, Endoh 7 [Hagglund N/A], Osorio 6, Chapman 6.5 [Altidore N/A], Hamilton 6 [Ricketts 7], Giovinco 6.5

Unused Substitutions : Roberts, Bloom, Zavaleta, Babouli.

I hope this made sense.  I’m going to bed.

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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1 Comment

  1. Bono did save the day a couple of times and appears to be playing tighter to his goal-mouth.

    As for Hamilton, he had opportunities to make runs or break onto balls and he didn’t. I am not sure if he is suffering from “whoa is me” or a little confidence thumping.

    The young midfield, while good, showed some fatigue in not being able to maintain ball control through passing sequences. There is going to be a need to supplement them for the weekend game.

    As for the officiating, my goodness, it was awful. Blatant offsides not called, phantom offsides called, fouls ignored, light touches called. Kelly left plenty of room in his performance, for the game to go off the rails. Luckily the game didn’t combust.

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