The South Stand Report : Toronto v San Jose

Old San Jose logo with new colours

The Part I Write Before The Match :

Seriously, I don’t know what to put here. Toronto good. Anything they do seems to work, even to a small degree (like salvage a draw). San Jose has Wondolowski, who I am a fan of. Best hitman in league history. So, Toronto wins. I hope. Still predicting 3-2.

Bold Predictions :

  1. Vazquez 2 goals or assists
  2. Vako 1 goal or assist
  3. Giovinco booking

On to the Match :

9’ – @malarkeyFC notices that the flags in the south end are in alphabetical order. Bored already, are we?

10’ – Confirmed. In alphabetical order. #nerds

14’ – Altidore has a defender on him, still gets a low shot forcing a diving save.

23’ – Jozy on the left side pops a nice ball onto Morrow who tries to pop the keeper and does, but just flies wide of the far post. Pretty stuff.

24’ – Altidore plays a ball with his back to goal behind him, over the shoulder, Giovinco full volley, fires just wide of the far corner. Get the fuck out with that (but if it had gone in… Omg…)

27’ – GOAL – Beitashour with a high cross from the right, keeper comes off his line and leaps for it but it’s out of reach, hits an unmarked Vazquez in the chest, settles and fires. Class.

Halftime Mood : fun. Should be up by 2, but San Jose has had exactly one opportunity.

45’ – SUB – Giovinco off for Osorio. Vanney going with a 3-6-1 formation. #genius

48’ – GOAL – Vazquez sends a ball through on to the path of Altidore, and he sweeps it past the terrible keeper. Nothing to it.

64’ – GOAL – Beitashour, to Vazquez, back to Beitashour, pops a medium height cross and finds the head of Altidore, who buries it

65’ – SUB – Altidore off for Ricketts, turns out he’s a bit sore so it was precautionary.

67’ – GOAL Osorio takes the ball just past the half-way line, does a 1-2 with Mavinga, drives towards goal, and fires a low shot to the right, beating the keeper.

73’ – Delgado gets clattered into, Ceren is booked for being a moron.

75’ – Video Review! For a red card (possibly) for a foul on Delgado who’s pretty hurt

76’ – And Ceren gets a red. I LOVE VAR! (upon personal review, it was a red card for going studs up to his ankle//shin area)

79’ – Vazquez sends a nice ball across that falls for Delgado, who fires one across the keeper, but misses the far post.

78’ – SUB – Cooper comes on for Delgado. That knock affected him more than expected.

90’ – San Jose keeper just made two absolutely nanners saves.

4 minutes of extra time

Full Time : Toronto 4, San Jose 0

Man of the Match : I was digging Altidore’s passing and then he bagged a brace. Solid game.

Goat of the Game : really match report template?

Ref Rating : 5 out of 5

I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : Seriously match report template?

In Case You PVR’d It : it’s a quality game. You can skip the last 15 minutes but watch the saves.

Kit Spotting : didn’t see much out of the ordinary, but someone two sections over was wearing the new Sunderland kit which I weirdly adore.

Bold Predictions Results :

  1. Nailed it. Vazquez made me look good.
  2. Failed it. Vako no showed.
  3. Failed it. Seba super composed.

And bonus round, I stayed for the USL match…

35’ – GOAL Chapman slots a beauty calm ball past the keeper after taking a nice through ball.

42’ – PENALTY – Yeah it was and totally unnecessary. Aubrey hauled down his marker in the box.

43’ – GOAL – Cavalluzzo guesses correctly, but can’t reach it. Bonomo bags it.

45’ – PENALTY – Eckenrode tackles his marker, gets the ball, and somehow draws the penalty and a yellow card. That was trash.

45+2’ – GOAL – Everything the same as the first one. Including the Bonomo part.

Halftime Mood : it was going so well…

47’ – New York free kick over the wall and a brilliant leaping save by Cavalluzzo.

68’ – Hamilton gets hauled down in the box and no call. This ref is in the pocket of Big Energy Drink II.

74’ – Endoh launches a shot from 20 yards out and dips forcing NYRB2 keeper to push it over the bar. Good stuff.

Full Time : Toronto II 1, New York II 2

Post match : RED – Hamilton expressed his views and the mediocre ref didn’t like it. OK then.

I purchased one of the gorgeous Mississauga CPL supporters scarves from @rob_ditta and @__RobH__ and had an nice chat about aspirations, what’s going on in the Sauga supporters scene. They’re going good work. Give them a follow for more information and their beautiful scarves.

Michael Bradley absolutely floored me by not taking a shot from centre just outside the 18 yard box TWICE. He passed both times and because of that, I was thoroughly impressed with his game, more so than usual… San Jose was bad. Just terrible. Two shots all night. They gave up the ball far too often under medium pressure. I expected more of a fight from them… Regardless of the real reasons, I’m going to still assume that Vanney hates hat tricks, and that’s why Jozy was taken off just after he bagged his second… The ref in the TFC II game was brutal. Almost San Jose brutal… Fully aware that Osorio’s goal was not ONE TOUCH, but approximately 3 or 4 touches.  Glad he got one of those.  It’s been a while.  Well done sir… Are all USL games played like the ball is hot potato? The game fluctuated between 7 and 9 on the tempo scale… TFC finally feels like what my FIFA ultimate teams have felt like. Two quality right wingers in Hasler and Beitashour, can’t play them both. It’s amazing. Excellent performance from Beitashour… I know I said San Jose was bad, but Toronto was excellent. A very complete game. #gushing

Player Ratings : Bono 6, Beitashour 7, Zavaleta 6.5, Moor 6.5, Mavinga 6.5, Morrow 6, Vazquez 8, Delgado 6.5 (Cooper N/A), Bradley 7, Giovinco 8 (Osorio 7), Altidore 9 (Ricketts N/A)

Unused Substitutions : Irwin, Hernandez, Hasler, Edwards

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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  1. Jozy wanted out so he could jet down to NY for the big party. He did do well thru that first 60-65 minutes.

    This game really did look like men vs boys, actually little babas.

    6 games left and 11 pts to tie the record. It will be a tough schedule , with 2 against the Mtl, but there is a real chance here for the Reds. And it was good to see NYCFC fall further off their pace.

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  2. Some stats…

    Passing Accuracy

    Completed passes as a percentage of total passes attempted.

    Week 27 Ranking Player (Club) Passing Accuracy (min. 30 passes)
    1 Michael Bradley (TOR) 96.15%
    2 Jonathan Osorio (TOR) 95.08%
    3 Justin Morrow (TOR) 94.44%


    A sum of all events which involve a player touching the ball.

    Week 27 Ranking Player (Club) Touches
    1 Michael Bradley (TOR) 137
    2 Victor Vazquez (TOR) 131
    3 Chris Mavinga (TOR) 112

    Chances created

    The final pass or pass before a shot leading to the recipient of the ball having an attempt at goal without scoring.

    Week 27 Ranking Player (Club) Chances created
    T-1 2 players tied (Steven Beitashour, Joao Plata) 7
    T-3 2 players tied (Miguel Almiron, Victor Vazquez) 5


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