The South Stand Report – Toronto v Vancouver

Old Vancouver logo with new colours

Old Vancouver logo with new colours

Full disclosure #1 : I don’t know anything about soccer. Michael Bradley said it. He wasn’t speaking to me specifically, but he was. Altidore defence was running on full blast from the professional media, while most of the non-media that I saw weren’t having it. So if you don’t like Altidore, you’re likely reading this “report” which also means you don’t know anything about soccer either. Clearly.

Full disclosure #2 : I don’t feel any animosity towards Vancouver. Or Montreal for that matter. That probably makes me a bad supporter. Whatever. I don’t like Colorado because they’re boring and surplus. I don’t like Sporting KC Wiz because of their stupid kits, annoying and highly punchable players (mostly of the past now), and their terrible badge, name and colour of kits. There’s others, but you indulge me enough with the kit stuff so just assume it’s longer than this.

So here we all are, second home match of the season. Vancouver are fresh off a 2-1 midweek win over Chicago, which had a comeback, a frightening collision (see below) and a goal of the week candidate. Exciting stuff there.

On to the Match :

Pregame points up on the scoreboard : Why is Kudo (point #3 from the list), a player who was concussed and a suffered a broken jaw from a very scary collision with a keeper, “in our thoughts” matter as a key to the game? I’ve never heard of an opposition’s injured player as a “key” to any match unless it was about exploiting that loss. Is this more about me not knowing about soccer? This game is so confusing and insular, how can a commoner, like myself, ever understand…

2’ – An older gentleman in the front row took a ball full on in the face and needed medical attention. Looked like the nose, but hope he was OK.

12’ – GOAL Manneh takes advantage of a bad Perquis pass and exploits it to the full, nutmegging Irwin

18’ – GOAL – Manneh gets a shot off from a counter attack, Irwin makes the save but the ball falls to Bolanos and he pops it in from 218 yards off.

I wish I could have come up with the following sequence of events as they happened as an elaborate work of fiction but it happened.

32’ – PENALTY – Altidore gets taken down easily at the top of the box

35’ – SAVED – Ousted guesses to the left and saves it. Altidore takes a knee outside the box. Ultimately hobbles off and Babouli gets the call to get ready.

Quote of the Match :

It’s an Altidore shat trick!


37’ – GOAL Giovinco rolls the ball back to shake his defender and slots it into the low right corner. Brilliant.

39’ – SUB – Babouli comes on for Altidore.

I swear that happened.

66’ – GOAL – Bradley threads a perfect ball through to Giovinco, whose first touch slots it past the keeper. Just fucking brilliant!

70’ – GOAL Manneh turns Beitashour inside out, side-steps his corpse and slides it low and far past Irwin. Ugh.

72’ – GOALMorales gets the ball down the wing, and with Perquis marking him, he loops a ball behind Perquis and curving around a lunging Irwin.

76’ – Osorio goes down in a heap clutching his ankle. Judging on how quickly people were running to him, it doesn’t look good.

78’ – SUB – Lovitz in for Perquis

80’ – GOAL – Giovinco corner comes into the 6 yard box and Moor gets up and puts it past Ousted

80’ – SUB – Osorio is off for Chapman

88’ – Quick pass from Chapman finds an open side foot of Babouli that put it just over the bar from 10 yards out. If that goes in, he’s global level of poacher.

5 minutes of extra time

Full Time : Toronto 3, Vancouver 4

What a game!!! Result and points aside, I do not remember where I was fully engrossed by a Toronto FC match for 90 minutes.  Drama, comebacks, near comebacks, a red card from Aird, a veritable roller coaster ride.  Fabulous.  5-Stars.  Loved it.  The last 10 minutes (plus injury time) were amazing.  If Toronto had tied it, we would’ve blown the canopies clear off their stanchions (or whatever hold canopies up).  A win could’ve been catastrophic, casualties nearly certain.  So good.

Man of the Match : Giovinco

Goat of the Game : ummm… There probably was a good goat, but nothing comes to mind.  I will throw a vote in for the ass-hat who decides to wear the away kit at home (here, and everywhere else in the world).

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5. Not a lot to argue

I Am Not The Gaffer But : I… I sincerely don’t know

In Case You PVR’d It : you have got a classic on your hands.

Kit Spotting : VfL Osnabruck purple and white hooped kit from Liga.3 in the Eaton’s Centre pre-match

*deep breath* OK.

Jozy Altidore.  I am going to come clean, seeing him have the penalty saved was a huge moment of schadenfreude as it was the final piece of evidence in a thesis, or so it felt.  I would like Toronto to win.  I would like Altidore to succeed.  I do not hate Altidore.  I do not dislike Altidore.  I sincerely hope his hamstring injury isn’t serious.  I don’t want anyone to suffer (except Mista (remember him?)).

I also do not get Altidore.  Much like a Julian de Guzman, another player I never ‘got’, I never fully understood how their contributions were measured as effective.

I’m told of all of these great things he did on the ball last game, yet I couldn’t remember one.  Or I remember the 5 chances he didn’t score on.  Probably just picking on something because I’m a pessimist who doesn’t understand the game.  So, in tonight’s game, I made a note (read “sarcastic comment”) with every play he was in or near, and aside from one ball that he laid off, he was rough.  He missed one or two chances before the penalty.

Then the penalty.  It was saved, but more to the point, he didn’t score.  That’s his job.  There aren’t many forwards, of any shape or size or fitness or skill set, that makes his coin and has no goals in 8 games.  That’s the reality.  I’m not hating, that’s factual.

But, again, I probably missed all the wonderful platitudes paid to Jozy last year about all the same wonderful things he’s doing this year back then.  I don’t think there were, because he had thirteen goals.  You don’t have to focus on his role holding the ball when you have thirteen goals.  But it’s important, holding the ball, right?  Where are the articles about his ball-holding skills from 2015?  This is an important facet of his game, is he focusing on it now instead of the goal scoring?

Producing results is what cures all that ails. I’m sure that by the end of the season when Altidore has 11 goals in 26 games, far from a terrible hit rate, there will be people with the smugs all over their faces using words like “trust”, “faith”, “belief”. I’ll be sure to point to those parts of the season and respond with “timeliness”, “what changed?” and “why not then?”.

Get better soon, Jozy.

Player Ratings : Irwin 6, Morrow 6.5, Moor 7, Perquis 6 [Lovitz N/A], Beitashour 6.5, Bradley 6.5, Endoh 6, Johnson 6, Osorio 6.5 [Chapman N/A], Altidore 3 [Babouli 6], Giovinco 9.5

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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  1. Referee Sibiga and his assistants did an excellent job, so that is two wonderfully officiated games in a row.

    TFC statistically dominated this game and got beaten on the counter. Looked like the FBs, both of them in tandem, pressed way up the pitch leaving Bradley/Johnson and the CBs too thin to defend the flanks. That and some turn overs by the defense and the midfield. At least that is what it looks like.

    Good opportunity for Babouli and he almost converted a difficult one with the outside of his foot.

    Good spectacle for the full house but Vanney will have to listen to the old Depeche Mode song and “Get the Balance Right”.

    Dark days for Jozy and maybe Oso.

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  2. It was a great game to watch, despite the result. I went to this one and it was gripping stuff. I told my wife after it was 2-0 that it would either be a terrific match or just another crappy TFC game that we’re used to seeing whenever we buy tickets.

    I was generally ok with Altidore from last week, but with the missed penalty I’d call him goat of the match. When you’re 2-0 down you don’t give the penalty kick to him just to get off his scoring slump. Giovinco could have buried that and started TFC’s comeback earlier.

    Other than that I think maybe Perquis was the culprit on a couple Vancouver goals. I generally think he’s an ok player, but there were some bad passes last night. But, we got to see a fired up Giovinco getting TFC back in the game, so that was fun.

    Too bad for the loss, but that should help the team realize they aren’t perfect and that they still have to keep their focus in games.

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  3. Sure it was entertaining, but it was also a frustrating tactical mess. TFC went into the game, game 10 of the year, what? having only allowed 7 goals.
    Irwin looked ordinary, which was quite a tumble from the “greatest TFC keeper of all time” award I was trying to give him last game.
    I WANT Perquis to succeed. He has looked so smooth, always well positioned and good on the ball vs Dallas. Terrible moments last night. Bad pass = Van goal#1
    Bad impersonation of a statue = Van goal#3
    The further back Bradley and J ohnson played in the second half, the greater the chaos in the midfield.
    Osorio- I am hopeful that the injury is minor. Still not sure that he fits the TFC midfield
    Altidore – not sure when we see him in a game again…he needs coaching, he needs direction, he needs to do more with less.

    How can you gloss over the astounding decision for the red and grey to wear blue shorts at home? Blue shorts !!!

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