THE STARTING 11: Dwayne De Rosario Testimonial Gifts
After a long, strangely quiet off-season where his future seemed unknown, MLS stalwart Dwayne De Rosario officially (this time it was for realsies) announced his retirement from the game. Proclaiming his contentment that he gets to retire from his hometown club – despite two mostly unfulfilling tenures with Toronto FC – De Ro accepted the mantle of Club Ambassador and stutter steps towards the horizon. The league and the club offered an array of well-deserved kudos for the Malvern Magician and TFC swiftly announced that a “Dwayne De Rosario Testimonial Match” is scheduled for June 20th. The match will no doubt be a celebration of De Ro’s great career in MLS and will no doubt include many a parting gift…
11. A giant invisible greeting card featuring the invisible messages of many former teammates
10. A portable shoulder and neck massager in the perfectly replicated form of Raivis Hscanovics’ hands
9. A 2010/2011 Celtic kit autographed by Freddie Ljungberg
8. A special halftime performance by Drake, Kardinal Offishall, Choclair, Maestro Fresh Wes and Snow
7. Danleigh Borman: Butler
6. A rare framed photograph of Preki almost smiling
5. A year’s supply of Shake ‘ N Bake!
4. His own private Scarborough RT carriage
3. Ten minutes in a locked room with Mo Johnston
2. A separate BMO Field Wall of Honour for all of his former hairstyles
1. All the inukshuks
June 8, 2015
Danleigh Borman! That must have come from the vault – I barely remember him.
Also, I would suggest a year’s supply of Milo to go along with his Shake N’ Bake.
June 8, 2015
If Danleigh performs his duties well he gets a Boys II Men break once a week.
Wait – did DeRo do a Milo ad somewhere?
June 8, 2015
Yes! Back in his first stint at TFC, there used to the cheesiest Milo ads during half-time at BMO. DeRo talking about his mom giving him Milo when he grew up in Scarborough. It was cringe-worthy, just like the blaringly loud Primo pasta ads they have these days.
June 8, 2015
Wow – I have completely blocked those from memory. Or more likely that was back when I used to go to the concessions at the half and just missed it. But still; kind of sad that I missed that somehow.
June 8, 2015
I think you’re better off from having missed it 🙂
June 12, 2015
Milo Ads? Waaaaaaaaaaaaay better than having to watch Andrea Bargnani commericals eating Primo Pasta. They couldn’t find any TFC player to eat penne? Bah!
June 20, 2015
Who doesn’t like Milo? It’s the Ovaltine of the tropics!