THE STARTING 11: Giovinco-esque nicknames for other Toronto FC players

Posted By Tony Walsh on Feb 9, 2015 in Malarkey, Uncategorized | 1 comment

Keep walking wolf.

By now you’ve heard it hundreds of times – “The Atomic Ant”. That is of course the nickname long bestowed upon TFC’s minute midfielder/odd tattoo enthusiast Sebastian Giovinco. Based on an obscure television cartoon, the moniker is meant to illustrate how The Reds’ 5’5″ superstar overcomes his minute stature to perform tasks far beyond his frame. But what of Giovinco’s new teammates? Don’t they deserve similar nicknames as well? Why it’s funny you asked that…

11. DAMIEN PERQUIS – “The French Polisher”
10. BRIGHT DIKE – “The Invisible Eagle”
9. JOE BENDIK – “The Slammin’ Stopper”
8. ERIQ ZAVALETA – “The Nifty Nephew”
7. ALEX BONO – “The Other Other Bono”
6. COLLEN WARNER – “The Extra L Ephant”
5. CHRIS KONOPKA – “This Chris Konopka Funny Name! Fire! Bad!”
4. JACKSON – “The Fouling Fowl”
3. GILBERTO – “The Disposable Wolf”
2. MARK BLOOM – “The Poverty-Line Papa”
1. STEVEN CALDWELL – “The Flappin’ Cap’n”