THE STARTING 11: Other new buzzwords used during the TFC “vision” meeting


Look into my eyes and see… THE FUTURE!

Late last week, journalists were invited to TFC’s Downsview training facility to be regaled with the current club management’s vision for the future. We aren’t sure if dictionaries were handed out at the door but a lot of really, really big smart-guy words were thrown around to explain away The Reds “just missing out” (My air quote) on the 2015 playoffs.  It’s true, the nerds have taken over the fraternity and us dumb jocks were confounded by phraseology such as “executive cognitive function”, “proprioception”, “neurologicy”, and apparently something we should be familiar with… “Myelin”.  She may be the new tea lady. Who knows? What wasn’t reported after this illuminating meeting were the other new TFC buzzwords soon to be part of our collective vocabulary…

11. Holistic Caldwellness
10. Practical Odurology
9. Gilbertosis
8. Luxury Boxnential
7. Dichiotomy
6. Canopy Worthy
5. Acute Joebendicitis
4. Manual Aparicions
3. Brightdikeability
2. Five Year Plantar Fasciitis
1. Bezbatchenkism


Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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  1. Brightdikeability – The ability to mysteriously vanish only to appear again randomly a few months later, squashing rumours of your demise.

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  2. These are perfectly cromulent terms

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  3. sign up now for a Dichiotomy and you too can return to that blissful innocent state where you liked TFC and believed that they were a good team, worth supporting, with success just over the horizon, full of loveable characters.

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