THE STARTING 11: TFC Election Promises

Mock The Vote!

Mock The Vote!

What are you doing reading this? You should be out voting in the Canadian Federal Election! Unless you are reading this on Tuesday. Then it’s too late – thanks for letting Drake win the election you lazy bastard. For our international readers – feel free to vote in your local elections or enjoy ours from afar to see who gets to sit on the Ice Throne in our National Igloo.

This election campaign, which feels like it kicked of sometime in January, has been one of the closest in recent memory. All of the major parties have made plenty of promises for voters to mull over. Sadly, not on this year’s ballot are any candidates from The TFC Party. This is a real shame because you only need to slightly change the language of existing campaign promises to make The TFC Party a real election playoff contender…

11. Pump $50 Million Dollars into the canopy manufacturing industry

10. Reform military veterans’ benefits by no longer forcing them to watch matches involving Colorado Rapids

9. Launch a national “Cap and Trade” plan which sees all cap space traded to the Caps

8. Ratify the Trans-Pacific Partnership which opens up the market for inhumane transfers of Issey Nakajima-Farran between MLS sides and minor Asian clubs

7. Invest millions into scientific research on magic invisible turf paint

6. Increase the season ticket price rate on the top 1% of TFC fans in order to further increase the season ticket price on the middle class ticket levels

5. Expand the New CFL-Owners Home Stadium Renovation Tax Credit

4. Spend $200 Million to expand broadband Internet service… in The Tunnel Club

3. Set up a “Barbaric Tactical Formation Practices” hotline

2. Ban people who are taking the citizenship oath from wearing novelty MLS foam fingers

1. Legalize the Playoffs

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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9 Comments

  1. Hey guys, I wasn’t sure where else to post this, but since you guys seem to be the blog with the healthiest level of TFC skepticism, combined with an anti-Argos takeover mentality (is that a thing?) – I wonder if you have noticed this before:

    Check out the fancy artist’s rendering of BMO Field when the canopy is done next season, which is found in the TFC season ticket renewal website: http://seasonseats.torontofc.ca/bmo-expansion.php – not too shabby really, and hopefully a decent addition.

    But for comparison sake, I headed over to the Argos website to see how they are selling their new digs, and look what I found: http://argosatbmofield.ca/ – ??? how are they going to put all those blue seats in there??? I know that’s showing the potential Grey Cup set-up, but really – I can’t imagine they can change all the seats, even for one game – and I don’t know of any form of temporary seat cover that would render the lovely red seats blue just for football games. Maybe that is the same kind of high-tech wizardry that will magically remove football paint lines from the field in time for soccer games.

    This is all very worrisome. I know everyone has been concerned about this for awhile, but it’s all starting to get a little too real now. I would almost not be surprised if during this off-season TFC gets a radical image overhaul, with new blue uniforms and logo.

    All I can say for now is that I’m certainly glad I’m not a season ticket holder anymore. I will wait to see how things shake down next season – red or blue seats, paint lines on the field, and destroyed grass turf – there are a lot of potential things that could be ruined at BMO Field next year. I really hope I’m wrong.

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    • Interesting find and not surprising, two organizations marketing their product in the best light. LOL this all sounds like a political campaign.

      I am not sure what the relationship is between MLSE and the Kilmer Sports-Bell Canada partnership. Legally the two teams have very different ownership, but of course under the covers there is ownership overlap.

      Oh…Tony forgot “Legalize the playoffs”, but tax it to offset the deficit. 🙂

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  2. On closer inspection of the Argos picture, there’s some more funny stuff going on. In the bottom left, there is a guy clearly holding up a TFC scarf that just says Toronto, but it’s blue instead of red. To the right of that, I also think I see a Real Salt Lake flag. Crazy stuff.

    Who knows, maybe all that blue is just supposed to be their fans in blue jerseys flooding the seats. Whatever happens, it will be interesting to see how both teams co-exist next year.

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    • I’d seen that image before related to the grey cup announcement, but the fact that it’s on the argos official site certainly takes things up a notch. quite the promise they’re making to their fans there. I really don’t think argos fans will be all that happy with this arrangement in the end either. But never mind, MLSE got themselves their big outdoor event stadium, and they’re in control of it rather than some other competitor, that’s something we can all be happy about right?

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      • So are those the empty seats for the Grey Cup game? The south end end-zone looks NFL sized, not the 20 yard depth.

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        • yeah, that’s a horrible mismatch of things really, bmo field as it is now, but then with the extra seats added in and all the red turned to blue. bottom of south stand is clearly just what’s there right now, first few rows of that will be retractable and not there, not sure how many rows, but enough to get the full sized end zone.

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  3. It’s also funny how centre field for football is skewed and not in the centre of the stands. Maybe that will be fixed with retractable seats at the south end. It seems the Argos will still be shoe-horned into this stadium, just like it was at Rogers Centre.

    Are they also adding a second deck on the south end? The Argos image shows one, but not the TFC image.

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    • That was something MLSE had admitted from the beginning, The CFL field will not centre up with the stands on both sides.

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    • temporary extra stands (second deck in south, plus something in north) will be how they get capacity from 30 to 40k for a grey cup or winter classic (or for an mls cup final?). That’s why the south canopy will be so uselessly high above the south stand, so they can occasionally fit a bunch of new rows underneath it. Again, this reno is in no way about the regular tfc fan at all.

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