THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC-related CNE Attractions


Wieners are being dipped into gooey, corny batter; Def Leppard mirrors are being shined; ice cream and waffles are having tender coitus; and, The Polar Express really DOES want to go faster. Yes the CNE – home of TFC and two weeks of carny folk – is back in town and as usual the local football side have their own set of attractions…

11. The Haunted House of Pink Oxford Shirts

10. Tiny Tom, Tiny Joao AND Tiny Seba Donuts

9. The “Guess Your TAM or GAM” Game

8. Maxim Usanov returns to tour The Horse Building. Punches things.

7. The Hall of Ricketts

6. The Gala-Lombardo Real Estate Seminar

5. Tim Bezbatchenko’s Charity Wonking Booth

4. The Wacky Slide down Mo Babouli’s hair

3. Robin Fraser sings the hits of Billy Ocean

2. One of the Bitchy the Hawks gets sucked into the engine of an Air Show fighter jet!

1. Club Excobar

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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