THE STARTING 11: Ways That Montreal Impact Supporters Will Spend Canada Day

Bye Bye Mon Papa John's!

Bye Bye Mon Papa John’s!

Even though Montreal Impact was in Toronto a week too early to bathe in this city’s overt Canada Day patriotism, it wasn’t too soon to get a hint at their plans for Le Grand Day Off. While not all Quebecers can agree on the “Nationalism” question, ALL of them agree – relaxing is tres bien. Not every Montreal Impact supporter is a card carrying member of the Maple Leaf Appreciation Society but they sure won’t mind spending the day doing whatever it is Support Du L’Impact do with free time…

11: Hacking into TFC TV and editing the “Just For Laughs Gags” theme tune over TFC match highlights

10: Enjoying the warmth at Joey Saputo’s annual “Provolone in the Sun Festival”

9: Talking in hushed tones about the wisdom of Jacob Peterson’s views regarding Canada

8: Burning effigies of that “dastardly nationalist traitor of the Quebecois Nation’s righteous path”… Greg Sutton!

7: Petitioning the Canadian government to create a “Heritage Moment” film about the 2015 Voyageurs Cup semi-final

6: Avenging the Plains of Abraham… one plastic seat at a time!

5: Booing strippers wearing red lingerie

4: Walking around hip neighbourhoods in plaid shirts with trendy facial hair and an ironic Montreal Expos cap trying to look cool. (Sorry, that was from “Ways Toronto FC supporters Will Spend Canada Day”)

3: Commissioning Mitsou to write a song about the great Quebec double-agent… Dominic Oduro!

2: Planning a hilarious frat boy prank to kidnap TFC’s “Bitchy the Hawk” and replace her with a picture of the St-Hubert’s chicken

1: Mocking TFC in both official languages

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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  1. Hey Tony, you got to let it go. Quebec is all okay. The Battle of the Plains of Abraham WAS avenged the next spring at St Foy but France quit on Quebec. You also have a serious Mitsou thing. (who doesn’t), but what about Luba man! Com’on man!

    Amazing what you can do with a lava lamp some clouds, that era’s version of a drone and some Billy Idol wanna be’s.

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    • If that had been anything other than ‘Let It Go’… *fun fact: I saw her open for Honeymoon Suite many, many moons ago*

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