MASCOT HYSTERIA: Sammy the Stag v Ritter Frankie
It’s back! Another round of the world’s foremost football mascot showdown -The Vocal Minority Original Series: Mascot Hysteria!
After three rounds of inspired battle, reigning champ Roelio has finally been broken! Unlike other bones it wasn’t degenerative disease, blunt trauma or the evils of osteoporosis that took down the Spanish fightin’ femur but an overly suspicious stag from the wilds of Nottinghamshire. Sammy the Stag can find no conspiracy in this result as his agitated antics, as witnessed at Mansfield Town FC, propelled bloodthirsty readers to hand him a resounding 71% victory! Stag party!
Sammy now charges into the latest round against a new challenger. As always, it’s you the Vocal Minority reader who decides the winner so weigh up the plush and vote! Simply do one of the following: put the name of your winner in the comments section (Comments always welcome!); vote in the handy poll below; or, send the name of your winner to @vocalminorityCA on Twitter with the hashtag #MascotHysteria
NAME: Sammy the Stag
CLUB: Mansfield Town FC
TALE OF THE TAPE
WEIGHT: 205 lbs.
EYES: Darting anxiously
SPECIES: Great Nottinghamshire Neurosis Deer
BIOGRAPHY: Don’t let the good times at the Field Mill ground trick you. Underneath the amiable, buck toothed exterior of new champion Sammy the Stag is a deep, dark under-antler. Living rough for years on the streets of the East Midlands hardened this seemingly family-friendly deer into a world-wary libertarian crusader and vehement Anti-Venison activist. He also hates disco music.
When not surreptitiously handing out pamphlets for his latest political rally to confused supporters of the English League Two club, Sammy can be found roaming the stands cheering wildly for his beloved club. Whether he is leading a group of local kids in a chant to spur on The Stags or getting real with the older generation of fans regarding “the truth about the moon”, Sammy is a formidable mascot that is there for every match. Mostly because he lives under the main stand.
CATCHPHRASE: “Your ignorance to the plight of the regular blue collar family-man and his disenfranchisement from the modern political process is Stag-gerring”
NAME: Ritter Frankie
CLUB: 1. FC Nürnberg
TALE OF THE TAPE
WEIGHT: 195 lbs.
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Flag
SPECIES: Germanic Nobility
BIOGRAPHY: Found abandoned on the soundstage of “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, the man who has become one of Germany’s most fabled knights had a humble beginning. Born Frank Ritter, somewhere outside of Newcastle, UK, the aspiring stage and screen actor struggled to find work throughout the 1960’s and 70’s instead taking up jobs at local Renaissance Fairs. After failing to land his dream role in “Holy Grail”, Ritter quit acting and decided to travel around Europe.
Down on luck and Deutschmarks, Ritter had a fortuitous evening in a Nuremburg, Germany beer hall where his knowledge of European knighthood helped the owner of football club 1. FCN win the local quiz night. After sharing the quiz prize (a smoked ham, a turnip and Helga) with him, the club owner then offered Ritter the opportunity to become the first knight of Der Club. Ritter relished the chance to play the role of a lifetime (as well as brandishing armour against opposition BundesMascots) so he perfected his Geordie-German dialect and has protected the realm of Stadion Nürnberg ever since. Ritter Frankie is married to Rhonda and they have two children Franz and Gary.
CATCHPHRASE: “I am the knight who says nein!”