South Couch Report – Canada v Mexico

fmfCanada v Mexico. 55,000 home supporters. Pizza and a slurpee (to which I am going to add an unnamed alcohol which could imply bias or bad luck). This is truly a Good Friday.

Welcome to the road to Russia 2018.  This weekend (well, Friday to Tuesday) is as make-or-break as it’s going to get.  Home and away against Mexico will give us a fair indicator how the rest of this road goes.  The optimist has me thinking there’s a legitimate chance to steal something, but the realist tells me anything but.  Don’t ask about the pessimist.  No one wants to hear what he has to say.

On To The Match : 

8’ – free kick to the right of the Canadian penalty area easily dispatched by de Guzman.

11’ – Voyageurs in fantastic voice

12’ – Borjan bails out the side after a poor clearance by getting full extension to push the ball wide of net.

15’ – Layun after a clearance, fires a damn lazer for the top corner, but misses. Damn…

21’ – Hoilett!! Ugh… Ball skips through the Mexican box, Junior runs onto it and blasts it into the roof. #beAHero

25’ – Straith bowls over Lozano, then goes the other way and Larin has a break down the wing springing the trap and pops it out for a goal kick. Shit…

28’ – Borjan stops a low bullet from 25 yards out.

29’ – holy shit Borjan… Another bullet from 25 yards out THROUGH TRAFFIC! and another save. My favourite Canadian footballer ever…

31’ – GOAL Chicharito gets at the end of a beautiful cross, spot on header. Borjan couldn’t save this one. Ugh.

35’ – OMGWTF?!!?  TWO POSTS?!? Oh my Giovinco… It should be Mexico’s second.

36’ – Hoilett two foot challenge ends up with the ball, gets up, takes a few steps and launches the ball over the bar.

39’ – GOAL Lozano breaks down the left wing from 35 yards out, beats his man and buries it past Borjan.

42’ – not rolling over and dying, Hutchinson is causing headaches for his marker and beats his man down the wing, but the cross is easily cleaned up.

44’ – Hutchinson gets into the box, gets taken down, no call. Replay shows it was the right call.

Half-Time Mood : should be 4-2. Or 4-0. Fuckit, I’m now adding tequila to my slurpee…

El Salvador 2, Honduras 2. Full Time. Ha ha.

45’ – SUB – Arfield for Ricketts

53’ – Hoilett lays a little ball to Arfield who puts it on net. Nice first touch.

59’ – Chicharito beats a defender, pops into the far corner, but was offside

63’ – Arfield flings Layun to the turf. Fun to watch.

66’ – Voyageurs still in full voice

68’ – Borjan handles another long shot

69’ – de Jong just slams into some Mexican player. Somehow not a booking.

70’ – YELLOW – Arfield gets a booking for a studs in the air tackle for a 50-50 ball

71’ – SUB – de Guzman comes off for Piette

72’ – GOAL Corona gets a low ball, unmarked in the box, side steps a defender, blasts it at Borjan, who gets some, but parries it over his head and into the net

74’ – Canada cannot move or settle the ball in the Mexico end right now. Opportunities snuffed out making odd decisions.

83’ – SUB – Akindele in for Hoilett

87’ – defensive calamity as the white shirts outnumber the red ones in the Canadian box and someone ended the panic with a blast off the crossbar.

4 mins of extra time

90+2’ – Akindele forces a corner. Nothing comes of it.

90+4’ – Arfield nearly poaches one, but the Mexican keeper gets there first.

Full Time : Canada 0, Mexico 3

Man of the Match : Borjan or Hutchinson. I’m good with either.

Goat of the Game : Larin doesn’t look like he’s quite ready for prime time.

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5.  They were very good.  It’s probably should be a 5 out of 5 to be honest…

I Am Not The Gaffer But : I got nothing here, other than Doniel Henry is not a right back

In Case You PVR’d It : it’s an interesting match as Canada doesn’t really quit until the third goal, and then it’s a slow down. I’d say watch it all.

Tuesday could be a long night.

Contrary to his time in Toronto, Julian de Guzman in a Canada shirt was often a very different, and far more effective, player. Congrats on the milestone… Can everyone on Mexico smash a ball like that? Like everyone?… I wanted so badly for Larin to bag one, or at least hit the post.  Also, I’d have been fine if Hoilett could’ve opened the scoring.  But, noooooo… Counter to the stupid “puto!” goal kick chant – “excuse me!“, stereotypically Canadian… Hutchinson looks to be the one player who can handle himself one on one against such a talented opposition… 54,798 is the attendance. Vancouver can keep the qualifiers until they stop caring… The US lost to Guatemala in Guatemala 2-0… Arfield looks like a bit of fun. Hope he isn’t too hurt with his back, and look forward to him suiting up in the future.

Player Ratings : Borjan 7, Jakovic 6, Straith 6, Henry 6, Johnson 6, Hutchinson 7, Ricketts 6 [Arfield 6], Hoilett 6.5 [Akindele N/A], de Guzman 6.5 [Piette N/A], de Jong 6, Larin 5.5

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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1 Comment

  1. Your report captures all the gory details.

    Was wondering what formation Floro had chosen, it wasn’t clear on the pitch. If you are going to live by the counter then make it quick. Canadians were sitting ducks on the slow build-up.

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