The South Couch Report : Colorado v Toronto, CONCACAF Champions League, first leg (FIGHT!)

Colorado Rapids as the Caribou of Colorado.

Didn’t I write one of these buggers, like, a few weeks ago?!? AGAIN!?!


Remember that off-season we used to have. From early October until mid-March. Oh those halcyon days gone by.

Now we’re in this bastardized version of Champions League (ummm… groups?) and we’re playing the most vanilla f’ing side in the first round. The Colorado Rapizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz… wha? Sorry, 10pm kick-offs make me sleepy against boring teams. Hopefully Colorado got some excitement into their side.

Toronto is coming off of a few wins in a row. So they’re clearly the hot team right now. Solid way to enter the short break.

Bold Predictions :

  1. Colder there than here (already won)
  2. Toronto wins
  3. Seba free kick becomes Seba goal

Onto the Match :

1’ – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA… it’s -13C, it’s 15C here. #CanadaIsSoCold hahahahahahahaha

2’ – WTF, why aren’t Colorado not wearing their new kits?!?! #kitFail

5’ – Seba has a 1-2 with Auro, forcing Howard to make a diving stop.

27’ – Badji sent through with 30 yards from goal, one on one with Bono, and Bono makes a solid stop.

Half-Time Mood : well, that was… ummm… a soccer. Not super inspiring, but while it looked like Colorado had the crux of possession, Toronto had the majority of quality chances.

55’ – GOAL – Altidore lays a ball off to Seba who pops a ball to the far post and finds a leaping Osorio who heads it down and bounces into the net past a well-out-of-place Howard.

61’ – Vazquez sends McBean through to goal (a deflection but pretty all the same) and Bradley hustles to get in front of the shot to deny a shot.  

62’ – Altidore looks like he’s about to get through onto goal, but he gets tackled before he can get the shot off.

66’ – Vazquez takes a knock onto the ankle and goes down like he’s shot.  I’m sure he’s taken a knock, but don’t scare me like that Vickie.

68’ – Auro takes a hard knock, and the ref books Castillo for the stupid challenge.

71’ – Osorio did some really pretty footwork, lays it off to Altidore, 1-2 with Giovinco, beats his tackle and then shanks it? Wow. Um… cold, yeah, it’s cold.

74’ – GOAL – Wow. Delgado sends Auro down the wing, gets to it to pop it into the box, finds Seba and takes a volley and buries it.

76’ – SUB – Zavaleta in for Delgado

78’ – SUB – Hasler for Auro

86’ – YELLOW – Bradley gets booked for time wasting. I guess…

3 minutes of extra time

90+1′ – I don’t want to say that Colorado looks like they’ve given up, but that poor pass down the wing to no one looks like they’ve given up.

90+3′ – SUB – Hamilton in for Altidore

Full Time : Colorado 0, Toronto 2

Man of the Match : Originally I had Bono in here, but it’s Seba for the goal and assist

Goat of the Game : CONCACAF for the scheduling and the draw

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5, no problems here until that time wasting booking

In Case You PVR’d It : skip the first half, watch from the 53rd minute onward.

I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : yeah, nothing. Maybe put a hit on Castillo for being a bastard.

Bold Predictions Results :

  1. Nailed it. It’s springtime in southern Ontario tonight. Open a damn window!
  2. Nailed it. Toronto wins
  3. Failed it. No Seba free kick at goal

Man, that out of town scoreboard looked so nice and interesting, unlike having a tie against Colorado… #beardFrost… Auro looked fun, didn’t he? Thanks Gilberto, you #legend… Rapids fans really showed up in force, where “in force” means “under 15% capacity”… Altidore didn’t look super confident, but I’ll give him a pass as he did plenty of good work in setting up plays… Took a while to get warmed up, temperature pun intended, but the game got much better in the second half.

Player Ratings : Bono 7, Morrow 6.5, Hagglund 6, Moor 6, Auro 6.5 (Hasler N/A), Bradley 7, Osorio 7.5, Delgado 6.5 (Zavaleta N/A), Vazquez 6.5, Giovinco 8, Altidore 6 (Hamilton N/A)

Unused Subs : Irwin, Morgan, Chapman, Spencer

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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1 Comment

  1. I had to swap some cars in the driveway at the half and instinctively put my heaviest parka on after watching play at frigid Dick’s.

    All this early training should put some jump into the Reds in the early league play, when that starts.

    Altidore maybe still fending off the MLS Cup’s hair-of-the-dog.

    Would love to hear from those that are adept at this, what is Auro’s aura like?

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