THE STARTING 11: Other TFC Statistical Categories

Solid WIPS numbers right here

Solid WIPS numbers right here

It’s that most wonderful time of the year! No, not preparing to gift that personalized “MISTA” kit to someone you don’t love, but to turn your bubbling supporter discontent on the team that did you wrong! Yes it’s time to get your petty on in the most democratic way – by ranking every TFC player who played a minute in 2015! You don’t like Seba? Well go here¬†and play along or just follow as your VMP gang, a host of TFC supporters and random unwell-wishers from across North America rank and comment on this year’s Reds. However, while many VMP Final Countdown participants may use the usual G’s, A’s, MINS and SOG’s to make their judgements, let’s not forget some of the lesser used Toronto FC statistical categories…

11. SOP: Shots over Patio

10. HvGR: Height versus Goal Ratio

9. MMPT: Manly Men per Team

8. Fp$: Findleys per Dollar

7. UF%: Percentage of Season Wasted on Useless Friendlies

6. FoP/90min: French or Polish Over 90 Minutes

5. WIPS: Wins in Pink Shirts

4. TApsi: Toronto Argonauts per Square Inch

3. HSPM: Head Smacks per Match

2. FAB: Free Apology Beers

1: PW%vPI%: Playoff Win Percentage Versus Price Increase Percentage

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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