THE STARTING 11: Ways TFC is Turning Japanese

Posted By Tony Walsh on Jan 18, 2016 in Malarkey, Uncategorized | 2 comments

He’s a real student of the game

In the slightly re-arranged words of 80’s “supergroup” The Vapors: “They’re turning Japanese, we think they’re turning Japanese, at least we hope so”. Okay, TFC may not be fully embracing the Land of The Rising Sun quite yet but the 1st Round SuperDrafting of Japan’s own Tsubasa Endoh was manna from podcasting/punning heaven. While the diminutive Tokyo-born midfielder may not immediately make an impact we hope to one day have The South Stand re-named as The Endoh End. Of course, TFC PR never misses a chance to co-opt the tiniest feel-good story for the nefarious publicity purposes and there are already signs that the club is embracing our new Japanese overlords…

11. Steven Beitashour forced to change name to Steven Betamax

10. The awful North “Stand” patio party now only blasts J-pop hits

9. Current manager replaced with mid-80’s prototype “VANNEYBot-1000”

8. Sushi Butty

7. The Tunnel Club littered with after hours, drunken businessmen singing karaoke

6. Tactical training replaced by innovative “Wax on. Wax off” technique

5. The canopies are mostly made of seaweed

4. The new kit looks an awful lot like a Sailor Moon outfit

3. Nintendo to announce that Sebastian Giovinco is the 3rd Mario Brother

2. Players’ game-worn shorts to be sold through BMO Field vending machines

1. Allocation Yen