THE STARTING 11: Lesser-known Details of the MLS “Core Player” Agreement

Don’t say them. Don’t you dare use those two little letters. Save them for high quality adult films! DAMN YOU! I heard it out there – yes you guys! You said “D and P”. Bastards. Well, you can say it all you want but ML and even S refuse to admit that the new “Core Player” is anything close to another DP slot. No! No way! Yes clubs can pay them way more and they are limited in supply but it will not be designated! No! It will be kept in the core of the club’s payroll along with these important other agreements…

11. Must always completely finish eating apples

10. Not allowed to use letters “D” or “P” on business cards

9. Player must wear big caps during all public appearances

8. If the Earth’s rotation falters they will need to journey to the centre of the planet to restart it with a series of nuclear blasts. (Sorry – that is a “Lesser-known Details of the Film “The Core” Agreements”)

7. Post-goal celebrations must be 25% less exciting than Designated Players’ celebrations

6. No Swedes

5. New York City FC and LA Galaxy can sign additional “Hard Core Players” and “Soft Core Players” depending on average age of attendance

4. Dudes on league-minimum salaries now referred to as “Chore Players”

3. Core Players on Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver can be paid in Canadian Tire money

2. Guys named Randy don’t count against the cap

1. Clubs can sign dos Santos… but NOT tres Santos

Posted

July 6, 2015

Malarkey, Uncategorized

Tony Walsh

Tags:

Core Player, DP, Gio dos Santos, S11, Starting XI, The Core

Comments

6 Responses to “THE STARTING 11: Lesser-known Details of the MLS “Core Player” Agreement”

Duncan Fletcher

July 6, 2015

Caw!
I look forward to finally seeing the official explanation of this rule and how it works and who it can be used on. I’m sure it’ll be another piece of pure MLS smoothness that will make perfect sense, and then be changed at the drop of a hat when some other club needs it to be changed to bring in someone else.

Reply
1. Mark HSV
  
  July 6, 2015
  
  Would have been nice when TFC had to get rid of Laba, or even Gilberto.
  
  “Chore players” – that is comedy gold right there
  
  Reply
  1. zicogold
    
    July 6, 2015
    
    Gilberto is still listed on loan to Vasco da Gama and he has 9 goals in 21 appearances. Saw him about 4-5 weeks ago on GolTV, is a force.
    
    I guess the cap or lack of interest is preventing him from being recalled. ‘Cause Defoe and his antics are long gone
    
    Reply
    1. Mark HSV
      
      July 6, 2015
      
      It would be cool if they could change Bradley into a “core player” and get Gilberto back as their 3rd DP. But then they’d have too many strikers to fit in with Jozy and Giovinco. I’m sure Bradley would love to be known as the core of the team though.
      
      Reply
      1. zicogold
        
        July 6, 2015
        
        From the rumored rules, it would take too much allocation money to get Bradley below the $1M mark. Gilberto’s $1.2M would more fit into the rules allowing $200K to pay down the wage under $1M.
        
        Reply
Anonymous

July 7, 2015

We have had plenty of Chore Players here.

Reply