Vocal Minority

Author: Tony Walsh

  • The Italian Job(s) – Pondering TFC’s Rumoured Italian Interests

    “You’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!” – Michael Caine’s character Charlie Croker in the film “The Italian Job” – Most TFC fans two years into the latest MLSE regime change “That’s a spicy rumour!”… And all sorts of other hackneyed Italian stereotypes abound as more winds of change could be wafting through…

  • THE STARTING 11: Rejected Alternatives To “The Band of Allegiance”

    Oh TFC, you may not provide us with playoff dates but you sure do bring the laughs. Unintentionally yes… but still. Cheers, you dopey nitwits. The latest resource for eye-rolling came in the bungee-cordtastic inclusion of “The Band of Allegiance” in the season ticket packages. For those not privileged enough to receive this gem, it…

  • MASCOT HYSTERIA: Kickeroo v Tigrao

    Fluff you! It’s time for another round of the football mascot equivalent to Mortal Kombat – Mascot Hysteria! Finish him! Erm… it! Sammy the Stag is adamant that this result is a massive cover-up that involves the shadiest global plush material industrialists – and The Bee Gees – but he’s not surprised. No, Sammy has…

  • THE STARTING 11: Examples of TFC Putting Someone In The Wrong Role

    Remember that time that Toronto FC “won the off-season” by signing some big name DP’s and expensive European veterans? Remember that time they also failed to sign a single fullback? It’s the latter fact which has made “Adventures in Fullbacking” starring Warren Creavalle and Ashtone Morgan a hit. Worse still, the knock-on effect recently saw…

  • THE STARTING 11: Ways That A TFC Version of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Would Be Different

    Chicago and Toronto have a lot in common. We both like snuggling up to a Great Lake; both cities love a bit of the old street sausage; and,  John Candy liked being inside us. The two metropolis’ also share a robust film industry, however, one thing Toronto doesn’t quite have is that one hit film…

  • Chicago Fire v Toronto FC: No “Days Off” For Inconsistent Reds

    There will be no time for Greg Vanney and Robin Fraser to drive a convertible KIA Sportage through the streets of Chicago this weekend. No opportunity for them to visit an art museum, go to the stock exchange or catch an afternoon Cubs game at Wrigley. Nope – you won’t even catch Vanney in his…

  • MASCOT HYSTERIA: Sammy the Stag v Kickeroo

    Set googly eyes to stun because it’s time for another round of the world’s hottest football mascot throwdown – Mascot Hysteria! Knight-time was not the right time for 1.FCN’s noble mascot Ritter Frankie as the reigning champ – Mansfield Town’s suspicious stag Sammy – stuck his antlers right through the German’s cartoon chainmail. Despite a…

  • THE STARTING 11: Ways TFC Plans To Avoid Future Absences

    One of the big themes leading up to this past weekend’s match was the amount of potential absences TFC would have to deal with against RSL. Through a dreaded combo of international call-ups, injury, suspension and possibly alien abduction, The Reds were forced to face what will become this season’s demon… depth. TFC are a…

  • THE STARTING 11: Names For The Proposed Minnesota MLS Club

    MLS’ obesity epidemic continues as Don Garber pushes on with his plan to expand the league to 200 top flight clubs in 15 divisions. Don’t worry – only 45 of them make the playoffs. Sorry TFC. While yet to be officially confirmed, the latest club to join The Majors will very likely be in Minneapolis,…

  • MASCOT HYSTERIA: Sammy the Stag v Ritter Frankie

    It’s back! Another round of the world’s foremost football mascot showdown -The Vocal Minority Original Series: Mascot Hysteria! After three rounds of inspired battle, reigning champ Roelio has finally been broken! Unlike other bones it wasn’t degenerative disease, blunt trauma or the evils of osteoporosis that took down the Spanish fightin’ femur but an overly…