Author: Tony Walsh
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MASCOT HYSTERIA: Roelio v Sammy the Stag
Welcome back to all of you bloodthirsty fans of head-to-head mascot massacres! Mascot Hysteria is back for a matchup of plush pugilism and we have a dandy for you in this round. Despite his nocturnal refrigerator dump taking ways, the rotund mole from Scotland’s Montrose FC – Monty Mole – turned out to be no…
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THE STARTING 11: Unusual CBA Demands From The MLS Players Union
“Strike! Strike! Strike!” No, not the fruitless begging pleas of Toronto FC supporters towards their forwards, but the possible chant from an MLS Players Union picket line. It’s true foot and ball fans of the Northern Americas, the start of the 2015 MLS season could very well be delayed by a work stoppage! While the…
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Selling “Sorry”: TFC and Mea Culpa Marketing
It’s sad, so sad It’s a sad, sad situation. And it’s getting more and more absurd. It’s sad, so sad Why can’t we talk it over? Oh it seems to me That sorry seems to be the hardest word. – Former Watford FC Chairman, Sir Elton John Just when you thought it was safe…
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THE STARTING 11: TFC Oscars Introductions
What is the only thing longer than sitting through the next TFC Five-Year Plan? The Academy Awards ceremony! The annual homage to Hollywood’s finest (except the shameful shunning of Scott Baio’s 1982 opus Zapped!) usually runs for a solid thirty hours, testing the most dedicated viewer. A bit like 2014 at BMO Field. Much of…
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“CAW!” vs “Hoooonk” – Preseason In Full Flight As Reds Face HB Koge
Nothing like a tasty bit of Danish on a Saturday afternoon! Eat around the swan. Around the swan. Yes, preseason is fully underway and if TFC wants to get their hands on the illustrious IMG Sucoast Pro Classic trophy (“The Succo” to its friends) then they will need to show more energy than they did…
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MASCOT HYSTERIA: Roelio v Monty Mole
Thanks for joining us you fiendish fans of fuzzy fightin’ for the latest round of Mascot Hysteria – where football mascots from around the world battle to the plushest of ends. Coming into this round, the reigning champion – LA Galaxy’s extraterrestrial lothario Cozmo – looked unstoppable but was forced to face one of the…
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THE STARTING 11: Failed TFC Valentine’s Day Card Messages
If you’re reading this alone then it probably means your Valentine’s plans didn’t go too well. If you are reading this alongside a romantic partner… then lock that up. Someone who will read the dopey musings of a TFC website with you? KEEPER! (Not the Bendik variety) Perhaps if you were unsuccessful, you didn’t buy…
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Red Hot Reds’ Supporters Romance Quiz 2015
“BMO Field is for Lovers”… said no t-shirt ever. Despite that, today is the day to stop fretting over the Gilberto transfer and dote upon that special person in your life. And no – we don’t mean Sebastian Giovinco. It’s Valentine’s Day – the day to celebrate all things amour… because French stuff is so…
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THE STARTING 11: Giovinco-esque nicknames for other Toronto FC players
By now you’ve heard it hundreds of times – “The Atomic Ant”. That is of course the nickname long bestowed upon TFC’s minute midfielder/odd tattoo enthusiast Sebastian Giovinco. Based on an obscure television cartoon, the moniker is meant to illustrate how The Reds’ 5’5″ superstar overcomes his minute stature to perform tasks far beyond his…
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Making a Mountain Out of an Anthill: Five Keys to Giovinco’s TFC Success
The jewel of Toronto FC’s off-season manoeuvres has barely had time to plant his tiny feet on the frozen tundra that is his new home but it is already time to look forward. While the pomp and circumstance of the club’s manufactured airport greeting (after what we assume was a comfortable L’il Alitalia flight),…