Vocal Minority

Category: Malarkey

  • THE STARTING 11: Occasions For Fireworks At BMO Field

    Is there a stadium in all of football that enjoys more useless pyrotechnic displays than BMO Field? Daytime? Sure! Anthems finished? Go to town! In the grand scheme of TFC/BMO Field ills this ranks pretty low but it was during the post-match of TFC’s Voyageurs Cup elimination last week where the ridiculousness of it all…

  • MASCOT HYSTERIA: Sammy the Shrimp v Xolo Mayor

    Motherfluffer – it’s time for another round of Mascot Hysteria! After a few weeks hopping riot over international football mascotry, Virginia’s raging Anti-Newzealandite and Richmond Kickers booster Kickeroo has been sent outback. Despite his previous dispatching of Tigrao and Sammy the Stag it was a new Sammy that tripped up the cocky marsupial – Southend…

  • THE STARTING 11: Ways to Make The Voyageurs Cup More Popular

    The Voyageurs Cup, The Canadian Club Championship, The Tournament Formerly Known as Nutcan; whatever you call this tournament it is Canada’s premier club competition. However, despite the Cup’s prize – a trip to the CONCACAF Champions League and an autographed Edmonton Brickmen jersey – it is a tournament that has issues. The Cup faces a…

  • THE STARTING 11: Headlines MLSE Will Use To Make Argos To BMO Seem Positive

    The day that none of us have been waiting for since 2007 seems likely to be confirmed any moment now (if it hasn’t already by time you read this). BMO Field, Canada’s first “soccer specific” stadium will soon be downgraded to a “soccer first” stadium and then, sometime in the summer of 2016, a “kinda,…

  • The Vocal Minority Banner Idea – An Alternative TIFO Competition For The Discerning Cynic

    You know what they almost say: “mockery is the most sincere form of flattery.” And really, when a club like TFC does so much to make the world a mockable place, it is The Vocal Minority’s role – some would say our moral duty – to lead the likeminded through gales of laughter into a…

  • MASCOT HYSTERIA: Kickeroo v Sammy the Shrimp

    Y’all ready for fluff? It’s time again for two of the football world’s finest purveyors of plush to do battle in the one and only – Mascot Hysteria! He may have had the most frightening face and smoothest crotch of any Mascot Hysteria challenger but the Brazilian beast known as Tigrao was no match for…

  • THE STARTING 11: Proposed BMO Field East Stand Concessions

    When not pretending that they aren’t remodeling BMO Field with the Argos in mind, MLSE continues to beaver away on the multi-million dollar stadium expansion. With only a year remaining before the stadium goes from “soccer specific” to “soccer first” to “soccer also”, the first phase is nearly ready and TFC fans will be the…

  • THE STARTING 11: Rejected Alternatives To “The Band of Allegiance”

    Oh TFC, you may not provide us with playoff dates but you sure do bring the laughs. Unintentionally yes… but still. Cheers, you dopey nitwits. The latest resource for eye-rolling came in the bungee-cordtastic inclusion of “The Band of Allegiance” in the season ticket packages. For those not privileged enough to receive this gem, it…

  • MASCOT HYSTERIA: Kickeroo v Tigrao

    Fluff you! It’s time for another round of the football mascot equivalent to Mortal Kombat – Mascot Hysteria! Finish him! Erm… it! Sammy the Stag is adamant that this result is a massive cover-up that involves the shadiest global plush material industrialists – and The Bee Gees – but he’s not surprised. No, Sammy has…

  • THE STARTING 11: Examples of TFC Putting Someone In The Wrong Role

    Remember that time that Toronto FC “won the off-season” by signing some big name DP’s and expensive European veterans? Remember that time they also failed to sign a single fullback? It’s the latter fact which has made “Adventures in Fullbacking” starring Warren Creavalle and Ashtone Morgan a hit. Worse still, the knock-on effect recently saw…