Vocal Minority

Category: Malarkey

  • THE STARTING 11: Best Parts of Living With The Argos

    CAW! No it’s not Bitchy Blanks time but that’s the sound of yours truly eating a little crow over the doom and gloom feelings I held about sharing BMO Field with The Argos. Like many out there, I fully expected the “soccer experience” to be akin to that of Gillette Stadium North this season. However,…

  • THE STARTING 11: Similarities Between Toronto FC and the Toronto Blue Jays

    You’ve got a diamond. You’ve got nine men. You’ve got a hat, and a bat, and that’s not all. We’ve got chip buttys and the Trillium Cup so… whatevs. For the second year on the trot, Toronto’s foot and ball team AND their rounders team are simultaneously in the post-season! This sudden kinship seemed unlikely…

  • THE STARTING 11: Thoughts Greg Vanney May Have While High

    This is a work of fiction. I realize that you come to The Starting XI every week for hard-hitting factual journalism, but this is a speculative piece. By no means are we implying Greg Vanney has ever been under the influence of any narcotics. He doesn’t even seem the type to take an extra large…

  • THE STARTING 11: Signs That Autumn Has Arrived At TFC

    Ah Autumn… Easily one of the planet’s Top 5 seasons. The soggy crotches of Summer have dried while the frozen crotches of Winter loom on the horizon. Over the last decade, Autumn has usually heralded the abrupt end of a TFC season but all that has changed don’t you know! TFC are now decent and…

  • THE STARTING 11: Reasons Why There Is No Starting 11

    The Starting 11. It’s a feature that I have been writing faithfully and on a (mostly) weekly basis since 2009 – first on a little site called The Yorkies and now here. All in all, that’s about 3,850 quips about TFC that have drawn people to these sites in the dozen. Yup, people from Toronto…

  • THE STARTING 11: Other Jobs at TFC

    Labour Day, the day we celebrate bringing our first part-time jobs to their full nine-month terms. Thanks antiquated combined sex-ed/civics class curriculum! Anyjobs, with today being the day we celebrate the worker, we thought it was a great opportunity to honour some of the lesser publicized positions at TFC… 11. The guy that puts red…

  • THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC-related CNE Attractions

    Wieners are being dipped into gooey, corny batter; Def Leppard mirrors are being shined; ice cream and waffles are having tender coitus; and, The Polar Express really DOES want to go faster. Yes the CNE – home of TFC and two weeks of carny folk – is back in town and as usual the local…

  • THE STARTING 11: Less Publicized TFC Scandals

    Oh for Preki’s sake! Of all places for TFC to get delayed in – not Houston! It was however the very site of one of The Reds’ most glorious eff ups – The Escobar Three Fiasco – where TFC found themselves for an extra 24 hours this past weekend. Idle Reds are Miguel Aceval’s workshop…

  • THE STARTING 11: TFC Olympic Events

    Now that TFC are good and stuff we can shift our attention to the really big story in sports right now – the Summer Olympics in Rio. Despite the doom and gloom of toxic water and pestilence, the games have gotten off to a good start albeit with the same old sports we see every…

  • THE STARTING 11: Other Giovinco Goal Celebrations

    He’s back! On the strength of 3 1/2 goals against D.C. United, TFC’s tiny talisman Sebastian Giovinco brought his 8 game goalless streak to a resounding end. More importantly it also marked the return of Seba’s creative goal celebrations. We’ve seen the golf swing and the out of control Vespa but now that Giovinco is…