THE STARTING 11: TFC Olympic Events

Posted By on Aug 8, 2016 in Malarkey, Uncategorized | 1 comment

Olympics

Now that TFC are good and stuff we can shift our attention to the really big story in sports right now – the Summer Olympics in Rio. Despite the doom and gloom of toxic water and pestilence, the games have gotten off to a good start albeit with the same old sports we see every four years. Since TFC are now the ultimate in all sportsmen, maybe it’s time they got to create the events for the Summer Olympiad…

11. 4 X 1000 Family Ticket Price Increase

10. Expectation Weightlifting

9. Beach Vanneyball

8. Wonk Polo

7. Fencing (aka Attempting to enter Exhibition Place)

6. BMXbatchenko

5. Damien Perqus’ Contract Pole Vault

4. 100 metre wait for the men’s room

3. Bitchy / Dressage

2. Rhythmic Butty

1. 10 Year Marathon

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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1 Comment

  1. zicogold

    August 9, 2016

    What do the players wear when playing vanneyball?

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