The Vocal Minority Banner Idea – An Alternative TIFO Competition For The Discerning Cynic
You know what they almost say: “mockery is the most sincere form of flattery.” And really, when a club like TFC does so much to make the world a mockable place, it is The Vocal Minority’s role – some would say our moral duty – to lead the likeminded through gales of laughter into a safe, sarcastic harbour. A place where you are free from corporatocracy, sponsorography and sloganeering, a place where you...
MASCOT HYSTERIA: Kickeroo v Sammy the Shrimp
Y’all ready for fluff? It’s time again for two of the football world’s finest purveyors of plush to do battle in the one and only – Mascot Hysteria! He may have had the most frightening face and smoothest crotch of any Mascot Hysteria challenger but the Brazilian beast known as Tigrao was no match for the USL’s mad marsupial Kickeroo! In one of this competition’s biggest blowouts, the reigning champ...
THE STARTING 11: Proposed BMO Field East Stand Concessions
When not pretending that they aren’t remodeling BMO Field with the Argos in mind, MLSE continues to beaver away on the multi-million dollar stadium expansion. With only a year remaining before the stadium goes from “soccer specific” to “soccer first” to “soccer also”, the first phase is nearly ready and TFC fans will be the first to experience the new double-deck East Stand. Of course with...
THE STARTING 11: Rejected Alternatives To “The Band of Allegiance”
Oh TFC, you may not provide us with playoff dates but you sure do bring the laughs. Unintentionally yes… but still. Cheers, you dopey nitwits. The latest resource for eye-rolling came in the bungee-cordtastic inclusion of “The Band of Allegiance” in the season ticket packages. For those not privileged enough to receive this gem, it is a metal “T” affixed to a mini bungee cord with included illustrations...
MASCOT HYSTERIA: Kickeroo v Tigrao
Fluff you! It’s time for another round of the football mascot equivalent to Mortal Kombat – Mascot Hysteria! Finish him! Erm… it! Sammy the Stag is adamant that this result is a massive cover-up that involves the shadiest global plush material industrialists – and The Bee Gees – but he’s not surprised. No, Sammy has been telling everyone in Mansfield that his reign as Mascot Hysteria champion would...
THE STARTING 11: Examples of TFC Putting Someone In The Wrong Role
Remember that time that Toronto FC “won the off-season” by signing some big name DP’s and expensive European veterans? Remember that time they also failed to sign a single fullback? It’s the latter fact which has made “Adventures in Fullbacking” starring Warren Creavalle and Ashtone Morgan a hit. Worse still, the knock-on effect recently saw the one good fullback – Justin Morrow – forced...
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