South Couch Report : New York City v Toronto

NYCFC as the Generals

NYCFC as the Generals

It’s game day and while last week Toronto was abused by one Designated Player based by the Pacific Ocean, now they get a chance to be terrorized by a Designated Player based near the Atlantic. Last time the Robins faced NYCFC, the David Villa show was all that was needed (that and beating the hell out of Giovinco) to secure the new boys all the points. Now we’re in the Wembley Stadium of base-and-ball. The good news is that Lampard is hurt and Pirlo has a broken perm, so they’re both unavailable today.  Toronto still missing much of the ‘star power’ due to Gold Cup responsibilities.

And look at that, Lovitz is starting. Totally called it.

Maybe we ARE the pundits running the team?  I don’t think so because I’ve been calling for Schweinsteiger for years to come here…

On to the match :

15′ – Delgado lazily gives up the ball and the counter attack finds a wide open David Villa at the top of the box who fires wide of the goal

17′ – GOAL – Jackson fouls at the edge of the box and the resulting free kick has David Villa firing a beauty that Konopka gets two hands to, but still hits the post and goes in

18′ – PENALTY – Ref points immediately to the spot as Cheyrou was fouled in the box.

19′ – Giovinco hits the post!  Gah…

26′ – YELLOW – Hagglund gets a booking

27′ – Findley has a nice cross forcing the NYC keeper to palm it away

28′ – PENALTY – Perquis bumps into McNamara and then flattens out onto the turf

29′ – GOAL – Konopka stops David Villa’s shot, but the rebound gets to Mullins and his shot ricochets off of Perquis (OG)‘ arm and catches Konopka on the short side

33′ – PENALTY – Lovitz gets nearly obliterated by Watson-Siriboe in an unnecessary foul

34′ – GOAL Giovinco doesn’t hit the post.  Yay!

40′ – GOAL – Pretty counter as Jackson takes a long pass from Konopka who backheel finds Giovinco onside and puts it past the keeper.

44′ – GOAL – Delgado sends it up to Findley who crosses is into Seba’s path…

45+1′ – Giovinco nearly get a 4th, but manages to cut back and find Delgado who one times it and the deflection is easily caught by the keeper.  Nanners.

Halftime Mood : Ho. Lee. Shizz.

53′ – Low cross finds unmarked Ballouchy at the top of the box and a clear shot at net, but fires wide of the post.

56′ – Giovinco is gifted a terrible pass from a defender, beats two defenders, beats the keeper and at a bad angle, his the post.  You know somewhere, there’s a suit who wants to get a statue of him made for outside of Gate 1…

58′ – Morrow clears a bouncing ball heading for goal as Iraola attempt beats Konopka

61′ – Delgado cuts a ball back to Findley who has a go heading towards the far post, but saved.

62′ – YELLOW – Warner booked for taking down David Villa

64′ – PENALTY – David Villa pokes the ball past Konopka and then starts dragging his feet for a dive upon contact

65′ – GOAL David Villa sends Konopka the wrong way

68′ – Corner floated in by Lovitz finds Cheyrou alone in the air, but couldn’t find the net

76′ – SUB – Zavaleta comes in for Perquis who went down with a knee problem

82′ – GOAL – Giovinco steals a bad back pass, races into the box and lays it off for Marky Delgado and smashes one into the net

83′ – SUB – Jackson off for Creavalle

84′ – GOAL – Dammit, on a free kick, cross comes in front of the face of goal who hits Hagglund’s foot and finds Creavalle who puts it back across and finds the head of Mullins who buries it.

86′ – Warner pops a cross into the box who finds Giovinco a little high but still has a go and just floats over the cross bar

88′ – David Villa has an opportunity after Grabavoy dinks it back to him and his first touch fires right at Konopka.

3 mins of extra time

90+3′ – YELLOW – Morrow hauls down Mullins on a building counter attack

FULL TIME : New York City 4, Toronto 4

Man of the Match : San Sebastian Giovinco di Torino

Man of the Match that isn’t Giovinco : I liked much of Jackson’s peskiness during the match

Goat of the Game : This is tough, but I’m going to go with Konopka.  He had a tough match and played really well, but felt that if he didn’t make contact with David Villa on the last penalty, Toronto could’ve got all three points.

Ref Rating : 3 out of 5.  There was a metric shit-tonne of calls to make and he did get the overwhelming majority of them correct.  That being said, David Villa made a meal of that last one.

I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : if I were, I’d have probably screwed this one up.  Well done Mr. Vanney.

In Case You PVR’d It : You are in for a treat.  It’s chaos. You’ll laugh.  You’ll cry.  It’s like Themla and Louise but with more goals and less driving off of a cliff.

Was going to add a bunch of cheesy baseball metaphors, but after this match, no need.  Arguably a classic, but definitely a ride… Does anyone else have the uneasy feeling that Giovinco will be brutally hacked down one game and that will be the end of the kid?  That second half made me oddly nervous… Mullins is a bit of a wanker, isn’t he?… I hope it is a bit of the emotional rollercoaster doing the talking here so here it goes : Findley had a very capable and contributing game.  Sure, he was absent the first half, but in the second half, he quietly made his way into the match and nearly made some magic happen.  He didn’t, but it was close.

Player Ratings : Konopka 6, Lovitz 6, Perquis 6.5 (Zavaleta N/A), Hagglund 6, Morrow 7, Warner 6, Jackson 7 (Creavalle N/A), Delgado 7, Cheyrou 7, Findley 6.5, Giovinco 12

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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  1. Sorry, your team ships 4 goals in back to back games and you want to give the coach credit?!

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    • It’s not props for the defense as much as it is for somehow not rolling over and dying after being 2-0 down. Most of it has to do with Giovinco, but at least there wasn’t a complete collapse (this week).

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      • i hope you’re on my parole board for my hearing!!

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  2. Got a sense if you like WWE this is the game for you. Not sure why too. If you are purist then no nil-nil draw I am afraid.

    I was surprised by such high rating of referee Unkel

    The PVR moment really comes much after the games ends, when Giovinco ask Vanney why did you make those changes back there on defense?

    Graphic mashup of Chicago flag, the NYCFC colours and the geographic outline of the Bronx peninsula as a “C”, cool again. As a kid, always found it strange that a place is called the Bronx, still do.

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