The South Couch Report : Columbus v Toronto

Columbus Crew as the Cleveland Stokers

Columbus Crew as the Cleveland Stokers

This day would come. Columbus and their high-flying offense colliding with Toronto’s assassin-like offense (when it’s working). I boldly predicted a high scoring game.  They’ve got Kamara, we’ve got Giovinco.  They’ve got Trapp, we’ve got Giovinco.  They’ve got Higuain, we’ve got Giovinco.  It’s pretty evenly matched.

On to the match!

8’ – their Findlay exposes the left side and fires a shot forcing a stop from Joebergine. Turns out Morgan was injured in the friendly vs Sunderland (with a reported papering to the tune of 11,000, I’ve been led to believe) .  That game really was worth it, wasn’t it suits?

15’ – Cheyrou has a go from 20 yards out, forcing a stop from Clark.

19’ – GOAL – Bendik forced to make a great save from a blast from a volley from Finlay, but the rebound gets floated across the face of goal, and Kamara heads it past a frozen Bendik

21’ – YELLOW – Perquis booked for an elbow on Finlay

23’ – Toronto free kick on the edge of the box finds Giovinco blast it into the leaping face of Kamara.

31’ – Waylon Francis gets down the right and threads a quality low ball through the entire defense finding Kamara who smacks it off the post.  What the hell was that?

32’ – Delgado, quietly working on his legend status, goes up for a cross and heads it a bit past the post.

34’ – GOAL Tony “Touch” Tchani capitalizes on a poor through ball as it lays dead after Finlay couldn’t control it and then buries it from 20 yards out.  Damn.

43’ – Delgado threads a pretty ball through to Giovinco who beats his marker and gets a good shot from a tough angle on goal, but Clark makes a quality save.

45+3’ – Altidore takes a long ball and beats his marker, but can’t get a shot off through a tackle but finds Giovinco who tries to chip the challenging Clark, sending the ball wide of post

Half-time mood : it’s, um, not boring.

48’ – GOAL – Meram finds Finlay who buries it. Ugh.

Do we have a defensive sub to make?  Is it *gulp* Creavalle time?  4-4-2?

49’ – GOAL – Collen Warner floats a beauty right onto the right foot, full volley and Giovinco buries it in the back of the net.  Absolutely glorious.

54’ – Bendik clears a ball on the edge of the box and gets upended by Findley.  Warner and Findley have a little bump

55’ – GOAL Warner runs into a low cross from Lovitz and smashes it well past a leaping Clark.  What the highest of holiest hells…

So far, this score line, totally called it on the podcast. But it can’t be over for goals.  Not yet.

58’ – Perquis misread a bouncing ball, finding Kamara one-on-one with Bendik standing just outside the 6 yard box, fires the ball wide of the net.  Got away with that one somehow.

69’ – Kamara gets booked for roughing up Bendik unnecessarily while trying to catch a cross.  Oh silly Kei.

72’ – Giovinco has a long range effort saved by Clark, but Altidore was right there to pounce on any mistake to be made.

76’ – YELLOW – Warner just plowed into Clark after making a save from Altidore.  Idiot move.

82’ – SUB – Osorio on for Cheyrou. Sure, why not.

85’ – YELLOW – Giovinco loses his absolute shit at the ref as Trapp pulls him back fighting for the ball and then tosses Trapp to the ground, and gets booked for that.  He’s got a point.  Kinda crap call.

88’ – PENALTY – Altidore gets hauled down on a high cross.


3 minutes of extra time

90+2’ – Giovinco hobbles off the field. Probably OK, but still…

90+2’ – SUB – Findlay on to not make a difference or offer a unique tool set for Giovinco.

90+3’ – SUB – Delgado off for Chapman

90+5’ – Findlay gets the ball at the edge of the box and with tradition, loses it without doing anything of merit

Full Time : Columbus 3, Toronto 3

Man of the Match : Warner for the “hat trick” (see below)

Goat of the Game : The defenders weren’t having the most stellar game, so Zavaleta will be outed.  Wasn’t BAD bad, but still not good.

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5.  Aside from that brutal mis-booking of Giovinco, he did well.

Kit Spotting : Went to the men’s bronze medal match in the Pan-Ams and the kid in the Hibs kit won

I Am Not The Gaffer But… : 3-5-2?  Uhhh… Perquis, Zavaleta and Morrow?  You’re lucky the mids and forwards were plucky

In Case You PVR’d It : Start from the first Columbus goal and go forward.

The Trillium Cup is still useless to me and I’d like Toronto to win a piece of silverware that’s competed for by more than 4 teams at any one time…  Altidore didn’t have much of an offensive game (penalty notwithstanding), but he’s been a massive pain off the ball.  Some fantastic work he’s put in tonight… Can honestly say that even when they were down 3-0 (for the minute or two), Toronto didn’t look like they were out, much like previous offerings.  There’s an odd resilience about the Robins these days… I am thrilled that Giovinco isn’t on the MLS All-Star Team. Given that the kid should be league MVP when this is all over, it’s good that he isn’t participating in meaningless games.  And the All-Star game is meaningless. And there isn’t anything the league can do to make it meaningful.  Giovinco is above that team, and though next year he won’t be overlooked, I’ll take it where I can get it… I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, my arch enemy in this league is Sporting KC, first and foremost.  Houston is likely second.  Columbus is probably in the middle of the enemy list, which isn’t really ‘enemy territory’ anymore.  Should really write that one out one day…  Warner got the assist, goal and a booking.  What’s a footy version of the Gordie Howe hat trick?  That’s what he got.

Player Ratings : Bendik 6, Zavaleta 5.5, Perquis 6.5, Morrow 6, Jackson 6.5, Warner 7, Cheyrou 6 (Osorio N/A), Delgado 6 (Chapman N/A), Lovitz 6.5, Giovinco 7 (Findlay NBL), Altidore 6.5.

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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  1. Giovinco did actually get selected to the all star team later, but after various people joked about him pikcing up a late game niggle that would keep him out, lo and behold he was subbed off with a bit of an injury, and though tfc isn’t saying anything, their media mouthpieces, ie kurt larson and gareth wheeler are both talking about him not playing in the game, so probably a good sign that he won’t go. which is curious after the ridiculous fucking fuss that got kicked up about him not being voted in or picked by garber initially.

    as for the game, entertaining stuff, which is happening on a much more regular basis than previous seasons. successful? consistent? I’m not confident of either of those, but it’s kind of fun.
    giovinco still shoots too much from poor positions, though he did at least play balls into the box form free kicks at about the 30 yard range, which he wasn’t doing before, so that’s something I guess.
    defence looked sloppy and unfamiliar, not surprising really, but overall it was a decent game from toronto, had a lot of possession, and I’d say more chances than columbus. having said that, think columbus was very much about luring us forward so they could attack that unfamiliar defence on the break, which worked quite well for them to start off with.

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    • I think the big plus is that Giovinco is happy with life and his game is going through the roof.

      One thing the game did highlight. Is that switching tactical formations willy-nilly can be disastrous. The first goal was on Jackson, the second one was on Warner and Lovitz, my goodness where was the effort !

      Heard the inferred plantar fasciitis story. A snub deserves a snub, Garber opened a big can of worms with his selections. Nothing Garber and the league says or does has any credibility going forward

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      • Cheyrou as well on the second goal, tchani beat him to the ball, which went to finlay, tchani kept running, cheyrou didn’t, so when the ball bounced back off finlay, tchani all alone to get the shot off.

        You could see the pluses of the formation and pressing tactic on our first goal, zavaleta and jackson did a great job of forcing columbus to go back and then turnover the ball, then altidore to warner to giovinco, goal.

        So, the basic idea isn’t a bad one by any means, but overall it was very disorganised, as you say, switching willy nilly is going to lead to that disorganisation.

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  2. 6s and 7s at the back for letting in 3 goals?! Perquis is still looking for the ball after that Kamara wasted chance (so bad they actually included it in the sports round up)

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