The South Couch Report : Montreal v Toronto

Montreal Impact as the Manic

The Part I Write Before The Match :

It feels like forever since I saw Toronto play Montreal. Doesn’t feel like forever? It feels like forever?

Bold Predictions :

  1. Montreal does not win
  2. Vazquez 2 assists
  3. Someone’s getting a straight red card

On to the Match :

10’ – Altidore has a go from about 15 yards out, fires it just wide of the post.

12’ – wonderful through ball by Delgado, shot fires well wide.

16’ – Dzemaili free kick curls low around the wall, Bono makes a tremendous save at the left low corner.

31’ – Morrow runs onto a Seba through ball, crosses low in front of goal and no one to get to it. Delgado gets to it and fires it back to the top of the box and Bradley “DeGuzmans” the shit out of it, well over the bar.

35’ – Seba free kick clears the wall, but doesn’t dip for him and clears the bar.

41’ – GOAL – Free kick from the right side of goal, Giovinco clears the wall, gets the dip and Bush is rooted on the goal line.

Halftime Mood : this is fun.

52’ – GOAL – NICE CAMERA WORK. Anyways, the replay shows Hasler putting a ball across the face of goal, then Altidore gets on the end of it and pulls it across his body to bury it far corner.

62’ – Dzemaili gets a wide open shot on the left side of goal and fires it right at Bono. Dzemaili gets the rebound and fires it over the net.

70’ – SUB – Beitashour in for Hasler

70’ – SUB – Osorio in for Delgado

80’ – SUB – Ricketts in for Altidore

82’ – Oduro charges into the box as Bono gathers up the ball, takes a knee to the head. Seems like Oduro could’ve not made contact, but no card. Didn’t look malicious either.

87’ – Ricketts gets his head to a cross and puts it onto goal, but Bush makes a solid stop.

90’ – Ciman takes down Giovinco from behind and gets a yellow for his trouble.

5 mins of extra time

90+2’ – GOAL – Free kick at the right of goal goes short and finds Piatti. Launches a low ball through traffic and beats Bono.

They just might make a game… Nope.

90+3’ – GOAL – Off the restart, Beitashour floats a beautiful ball into the box, unmarked Giovinco full volley nutmegs Evan Bush, that poor bastard. Brilliant goal.

90+5’ – Beitashour sends Ricketts down the wing, but his shot is stopped easily by Bush.

Full Time : Montreal 1, Toronto 3

Man of the Match : Giovinco
Goat of the Game : pass.
Ref Rating : 4 out of 5
I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : Another masterclass.
In Case You PVR’d It : it’s a good game. Watch it all.

Bold Predictions Results :

  1. Nailed it. Montreal totally did not win.
  2. Failed it. Vazquez had a great game, no assists.
  3. Failed it. Thought I was close a few times, but no.

Giovinco trolling the trolls was a thing of beauty, especially scoring in their supporters’ end… It is an unpopular opinion but I do like the bell gimmick. Especially knowing that it doesn’t ring for much of the game, and then stealing the thunder of the only time it did ring by scoring a minute later… Nice half-time featurette with the sound bites of various players, media and supporters talking about the name ‘401 Derby’. And after all this time, a better name has yet to surface. I’ll wait… Does anyone else believe that Vic Rauter warned Luke Wileman to not use his ‘Nacho Nacho Man’ line when referring to Piatti? I do because Vic is a legend and a bad-ass.

Player Ratings : Bono 6.5, Zavaleta 6, Moor 6.5, Mavinga 6.5, Morrow 6, Hasler 6.5 (Beitashour 6.5), Vazquez 6.5, Delgado 6.5 (Osorio N/A), Bradley 6.5, Giovinco 8, Altidore 7.5 (Ricketts N/A)

Unused Substitutions : Irwin, Hernandez, Edwards, Cooper

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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1 Comment

  1. Oduro and Salazar got their “My Little Pony” look on. Vanney’s trousers were posh.

    It was a surprisingly loosey-goosey game from both sides.

    Vic Rauter off to do the snooty curling season. And Montreal supporters will remember Seba’s crocodile tears, should the Impact make the playoffs.

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