The South Couch Report : Orlando v Toronto

Orlando City meets Miami Gatos

Orlando City meets Miami Gatos

You know what I’m glad to be doing? Watching a game and the air conditioning is on. #bragging

Toronto has been less than convincing on the pitch. Scoring has been dry so it’s hard to be optimistic that they’ll light up the scoreboard. Cheyrou has been a rock in the midfield, as has Moor in the back four.

The bad news is that Orlando hasn’t lost at home. The good news is that they don’t win too many of them as they have 2 wins and 6 draws. So there’s that.

Bold Predictions :

  1. Larin will score
  2. So will Giovinco
  3. Hagglund will have decent game

On to the Match :

5’ – GOAL – Molino takes a ball from the right side of the box, cuts a pass through 3 defenders, and Larin pops it past Irwin

29’ – finally, a water break. Watching this is dehydrating the hell out of me

37’ – Larin sets a nice ball for Kaka and he fires it low forcing Irwin to make a quick stop.

38’ – Larin off the woodwork! Wow.

41’ – Osorio gets the ball inside the area but gets tangled in his feet and fires a shot off and goes out for a corner. Giovinco corner sails right into Bendik’s hands.

45+2’ – I know it isn’t, but Hagglund still looks like he’s wearing a sports bra. I need to find what piece of sporting equipment it is so I can stop noticing it.

Halftime mood : Orlando has Toronto almost completely figured out. So, let’s call it “frustrating”.

45’ – SUB – Delgado on for Johnson.

47’ – GOAL Hamilton gets on the end of some tic-tac-toe with Morrow and Osorio and slots it calmly past Bendik. Go on son! Somewhere Kristin is celebrating harder than the others.

56’ – Molino fires a curling shot 20 yards out forces a diving stop from Irwin. Outstanding.

66’ – YELLOW – Osorio with an ill-timed challenge on Ceren goes into the books.

68’ – down goes Irwin! On a goal kick, Clint pulls up lame clutching his right thigh.

71’ – SUB – Alex Bono makes his debut under adverse conditions for the injured Irwin.

74’ – srsly wtf?!? Giovinco lays the ball off for Osorio, who can’t settle the ball (surprise) but it falls to Hamilton who gets pulled then hauled down by Bendik. And the ref saw the whole thing. And called nothing.

78’ – another water break. The inner high schooler in me giggled at the gesture the ref was making to indicate a drink. Need a gif of that.

83’ – GOAL – Alston draws Bono waaaaaay off his line to the left of goal, chips it back to the centre of the box and Winter heads it into a very open net.

85’ – Giovinco gets a one on one vs Bendik, but pushes the ball too far to get around him and rolls out of bounds.

86’ – SUB – Cheyrou off for Babouli.

90’ – GOAL – Osorio over the top to Giovinco whose shot gets slowed by Bendik, but Morrow poaches a wide open goal.

8 minutes of extra time

90+1 – Hagglund is hurt and cramping.

90+9’ – PENALTY – Are. You. Fucking. Serious. Moor “drags” down Baptista. #flop

90+10’ – RED – Williams for something, hopefully he said something along the lines to the official what I was saying to the television

90+10’ – GOAL Kaka. Fuck.

Full Time : Orlando 3, Toronto 2

Utter garbage ref.  Now I totally want a gif of the ref during the second water break.

Man of the Match : Irwin was oustanding. Turns out, he was likely the difference.

Goat of the Game : Idiot ref.

Ref Rating : 2 out of 5. Was doing well until he blew two penalty calls. Discount Officiating does it again.

I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : Ummm… whatever changed in the second half to get Giovinco some space worked. So I’ll assume that Vanney did something, thus, no problems.

In Case You PVR’d It : Watch the first goal, then skip to the 35th minute and let it run.

Bold Predictions Results :

  1. Nailed it. Larin did score. And early.
  2. Failed it. Giovinco had a few opportunities though.
  3. Nailed it. Hagglund was very solid.  Welcome back.

Mr. Gerry Dobson and Mr. Paul Dolan reacted EXACTLY how I did on that final ref call, except without the crutch of swearing in front of my wife (who, also was swearing). I would’ve lost it. This is why I’m in podcasting and not broadcasting. That’s why I’m in “media” and not media. I know officials are not perfect, but I don’t see how Hamilton getting obstructed by the keeper isn’t a penalty and Baptista weakly falling down is?

And it’s been such an easy season for officiating for Toronto so far…

I weep for Quillan Roberts right now. Arbitrary backup keeper rotation denies him of his debut, hindsight notwithstanding… As an experiment, can we see about making Canada’s away kit purple? Asking for Larin’s agent… Full marks to Babouli on the second goal.  He initially gave up the ball in the Orlando half, but fought back to get the ball and started the motion with a pass to Moor.  Well done and not unnoticed… The only thing that makes me happier than seeing Brek Shea be bad is seeing Brek Shea be terrible.  So there’s a bonus…

Usually, I try to remember odd thoughts and talking points, but I’m still baffled at how that match ended. Toronto may not have deserved a win, but they didn’t exactly deserve to lose like that.

Player Ratings : Irwin 7.5 [Bono 5], Morrow 7, Moor 6.5, Williams 5, Hagglund 6.5, Cheyrou 6.5 [Babouli N/A], Osorio 6, Johnson 6.5 [Delgado N/A], Endoh 6.5, Giovinco 6.5, Hamilton 7.

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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  1. I think that having Oso and I think Cheyrou curl back to provide a target for TFC to push the ball out of their defensive third drew more attention from OC. So I think that little move cleared space for Seba, at least that is what I think.

    There is much to take away from this game and analyze and TFC didn’t play that badly as they did gain back much of the game. However, referee Ismail Elfath is not one of the things to be taken positively away from this game. I have lost all confidence in this man and his ability to impartially officiate a TFC game ever again.

    PRO referees remain unaccountable for their actions and this needs to end. Elfath showed true cowardice in this game.

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  2. Clearly since Mo Babouli did not start this game TFC was doomed from the start. The answer to all your questions is Mo Babouli.

    Duane Rollins,
    The founder and president and head cheerleader of the Mo Babouli fan club, still room on the bandwagon with me…

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