The South Stand Report : Toronto v Montreal

Montreal Impact as the Manic

Montreal Impact as the Manic

Spoiler alert : Just in case you weren’t aware of it, I write the first part before the game (for realzies) and the rest of it in order.  You will see my optimism wane, as I’m sure anyone else’s did, as the match went on.

The Ex.

A tradition that has been around for 134 years.

A winning football club. A tradition that has been around for nearly a week and a half.

Or so it feels like.

I’m still in disbelief. And to be fair, I’m not expecting the bottom to fall out, but I can’t help it. So if there’s an air of pessimism, forgive me.

But hey, free points versus Montreal and crickets on a hot dog, amirite?

I don’t know if you are on Twitter, but whatever reason they have the urgency to get to the game early is, I’m sure it’ll be disappointing or not worth the hype.

Bold Predictions :

  1. Someone not a DP will bag a brace
  2. Someone will be overheard about how they know someone who tried the cricket hot dog
  3. Toronto wins

On to the Match :

25’ – The drummers stopped playing and earned a sarcastic round of applause. They didn’t like it. I’d feel bad, but my opinion of them playing doesn’t matter apparently so karma is funny.  What’s funnier is the number of frustrated people is growing.  But what do I know, I pay to be there…

40’ – Drogba is injured, he may never play again.

42’ – Down goes Beitashour! What the hell happened?

44’ – YELLOW – Delgado gets books for the melee. Still don’t know what happened…

44’ – Callum Malice is shown a straight red.

OK, so upon further review (hat tip @torontofc), Delgado gets his booking for the awkward tackle from behind on Oduro, which was fair. Malice gets his for shoulder tackling Beitashour after the fact.

Half Time mood : well this isn’t helping the mystique of the Ex. Boring. Other than the handbags.

47’ – YELLOW – Zavaleta for something

53’ – Corner finds the head of Moor who cuts across the face of goal and Johnson can’t get it past the post.

54’ – Drogba is down for the second time. And he gets subbed. Glad he could retire with dignity.

64’ – Well the Ref is losing the plot. A couple of questionable tackles and not calling anything.

67’ – SUB – Giovinco hobbles off hurt from the beating he’s taken in the last 5 mins and Endoh comes on.

70’ – YELLOW – Osorio goes in the book for something soft, likely.

69’ – SUB – Delgado comes off and Ricketts comes in.

Ladies and gentlemen, we give you the dynamic striking duo of Jozy Altidore, Tosaint Ricketts… They are #ALTITTS!!!

73’ – GOAL – Dammit. Patti breaks down the left side after taking a crazy pass from a falling backwards Oduro, beats Beitashour and launches a shot across to the far post.
ROBINS 0, CHEESEMAKERS 1

76’ – SUB – BennyBalls TM, Cheyrou comes in for Beitashour

77’ – Wow. Bradley finds a bolting Endoh who on full volley crosses and finds Osorio, who takes it on volley himself and fires over the ball. We’ll taken.

88’ – Ricketts gets up for a header and he hits the side of the net but so close.

Shit, Montreal are going to win this game… Ugh.

5 mins of extra time

90+2 – Cheyrou free kick beats the wall but safely finds Evan Bush.

Full Time : Toronto 0, Montreal 1

Man of the Match : ummm…

Goat of the Game : ummm…

Ref Rating : 2 out of 5. The ref made a pile of calls and missed a bunch of of fouls and struggled to win it back.

I Am Not The Gaffer But : I would have forbade the players from pre-gaming at the CNE (speculation)

In Case You PVR’d It : start at the 39th minute and go to half time, then ask yourself if you care to see the rest.

Kit Spotting : A snazzy Croatia jersey. Kidding (there were tons), Duncan is wearing his Darlington away kit and that’s a lock.

Bold Predictions Results :

  1. Failed it spectacularly. No brace. And I predicted 5-0 on the podcast.
  2. Failed it. No cricket talk whatsoever.
  3. Failed it. But to be fair, so did Toronto.

Well that was uninspiring. The streak had to end but this was terrible timing. The CNE, the celebration of Metros Croatia, the “get there early” browbeating, the first grand Tifo display (which was very impressive and full marks to those who worked on it), perhaps there was a bit too much pressure to deliver 3 points. Or even a single point. Toronto cannot have many excuses for this disaster, and I know it’s not really a disaster, but with everything leading up to this match, this may have easily been some kind of coronation of the future kings of MLS. And everything was great. Except for the footie. And to be fair, Montreal weren’t exactly playing beautifully as well. This was kind of an ugly match, and the first real footballing talking point I felt worth writing down was in the fifty-third minute (yes, I know I missed the header by Drogba forcing the save from Bono in the 13th minute, but that doesn’t excuse the 40+ minutes in between, now does it?).

You know what’s a great idea to beat that stingy Montreal defence? Cross it into the corner for Endoh and then have him cross it back into the box and then hope for something to happen. I’m sure it’s bound to work, but they ran the same move at least a half-dozen times before Salazar came on and marked Endoh out of that manouvre… I know Cheyrou only got twenty some-odd minutes out there, but he had a few questionable touches on the ball. I’m sure everything will be back to regular service in a few weeks, but it was odd to see it from him at all… Please tell me that no one in the league stops their attack because Drogba is on the ground? I’d hate to think there’s a single ref or manager who believes he may actually be so hurt, that he requires medical attention every damn time? And why is the biggest take-away that Bekker is learning from Drogba is this feigning of serious injury?

Player Ratings : Bono 6, Beitashour 6 [Cheyrou N/A], Zavaleta 5.5, Moor 6.5, Morrow 6, Bradley 6, Delgado 5.5 [Ricketts N/A], Johnson 6, Osorio 6, Altidore 5.5, Giovinco 6 [Endoh 6]

Unused Substitutions : Roberts, Hagglund, Lovitz, Cooper

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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2 Comments

  1. No one knew what happened in that melee, not the players on the pitch, not teams on the sidelines, or the fans in the stands or watching on TV or streaming in 4k, or the broadcasters or journo everywhere. No one knew what happened, but there was two cards brandished of different colours.

    There can be no coincidence with this taking on teams carrying a red card. TFC has a major issue. So let’s hold off with the fragrant anointing oils and fine silk robes for Vanney, just yet. I know all good things must come to and …but not like this.

    Hope Seba isn’t out for long.

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    • But I bet those silk robes are so luxurious. I’m looking forward to the replica silk robes being offered for sale with our season’s ticket renewal packages…

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