The South Stand Report : Toronto v Montreal, V-Cup Edition

Montreal Impact as the Manic

Montreal Impact as the Manic

A famous pundit once said “You can’t win anything with kids”. And that pundit was spot on as Manchester United went on to lose 5 more games at the end of that season. Sure they won 25 other games after that, and the league, but you can’t deny the truth that kids suck at football.

To be fair, when it was said, they weren’t missing at least 2 out of 3 designated players (with the third to be determined after this is written) and about to play in the oft-overlooked Voyageurs Cup. Which it shouldn’t be. Why? I want Champions League soccer. I LOVE when Mexican teams show up. That’s a true test of mettle and it’s a meaningful game.

Anyways, I get dizzy on my perch. Montreal also has some international call-ups, as well as injury problems so it’s likely going to be TFC-B versus Montreal Baby Cheeses. We’ll see a few players from days gone by, one or two you only read about in TFC II match reports, and Mo Babouli and Benoit Cheyrou.

I’m weirdly optimistic and I hope they impress, even a little.

Bold Predictions :

  1. Giovinco won’t be on the bench
  2. Drogba will be on the bench, but won’t play
  3. Someone’s getting a brace, don’t care which side

On to the Match :

14’ – GOAL – cross whipped in, expertly controlled by Osorio, settles it down and pops it in

“BROBINS” was an idea from @duncanDFletcher, after writing down “B-ROBINS”, as in B team, and wanting to drop the “B” because they were playing good , so “BROBINS” was kept because it was amusing us. ~ Ed.

20-ish’ – Drogba goes down. He looks bad. Surely they must be prepping for amputation somewhere.

22-ish’ – Drogba, against all logic and reason, is up and is continuing in the match. No wonder he’s a legend!

35’ – GOAL – Babouli turns and threads a pass, Hamilton gets a sliding touch to it, falls to Osorio and pops it in.  Again.

45’ – RED – Lovitz gets a vicious tackle from Patrice Bernier (whaaaaaaaa?!?) and the ref wastes no time sending the Bernier off.

Half Time Mood : the kids are alright. Been largely all Toronto

55’ – Cheyrou has a go from 25 yards out curling viciously but just misses the top right corner

62’ – GOALJordan Hamilton gets the ball at the top of the box, cuts back to shake his marker, lays a low left shot. Welcome to the big boys team sir.

Quote of the Match

Is that three Canadian goals scored?

~ Neighbour in front of us

Yes it is. Yes it is.

76 – SUB – Cheyrou comes off for Chapman and gets a nice applause.

80’ – GOALHamilton collects the ball 10 yards out and buries it.

82’ – SUB – Malik Johnson comes on for Babouli.  Welcome to the first time.

84’ – SUB – Lovitz makes way for Brian James.  Another debut!

86’ – GOAL – Drogba pops a cross over the defence and Salazar gets his head to it, beating Irwin from 6 yards out.  That was crazy and way overdue.

3 mins of extra time

90 +1’ – GOALDrogba floats a stunner into the bottom left corner.

90+1′ – YELLOW – After the goal, Piatti gets in the way of the keeper and earns a wee shove from Irwin after the goal was scored and “Drogbas” all over the ground.  First off, the refs didn’t fall for it.  Secondly, he looks up to see that neither the ref or the linesman was having it and gets up to complain to the linesman.  Piatti should’ve got a booking for that move.

Full Time : Toronto 4, Montreal 2

Man of the Match : Osorio with his brace.  So wanted a hat-trick for him.

Goat of the Game : Piatti was so shit tonight. Toronto looked excellent.

Ref Rating : 5 out of 5. No complaints.

I Am Not The Gaffer, But… : it was a tactical masterstroke!

In Case You PVR’d It : you’ll enjoy the drama.  It’s a fun game.

Kit Spotting : there’s a kid at the end of the Match wearing an Asteras Tripoli from the Greek league. I had to look it up to confirm the badge.

Bold Prediction Results :

  1. Nailed Giovinco not being on the bench.  I’m so brilliant.
  2. Failed the Drogba thing.  Though he looked to be on life-support, he persevered through the whole match
  3. Nailed the brace call TWICE, and it was all Canadian

Aside from the drama at the end, Montreal were the perfect villians tonight : red card at halftime, goals from Osorio and Hamilton, all the kids playing well, Montreal playing ineffective and brutal for much of the match, Drogba wankering like a seasoned pro, Piatti (whom I’ve been a fan of) was absolutely terrible.

Take away the two goals at the end of the night, which were tough to prevent, and Toronto looked fun.  You remember fun, right?  They moved the ball well, everyone played a role, no one was really leaned upon to do heavy lifting.  Sure, Montreal’s back line looked abysmal at best, but let’s not let 4 goals lose their luster because of poor defense.  And I’m also trying not to let the “lesser trophy” attitude of both sides ruin a great night out.

Player Ratings : Irwin 6, Beitashour 6.5, Zavaleta 6, Hagglund 6, Morgan 6.5, Lovitz 6.5 [James N/A], Delgado 6, Cheyrou 7 [Chapman N/A], Osorio 8, Babouli 6.5 [Johnson N/A], Hamilton 8.

Author: Mark Hinkley

Mark is a full-time graphic designer, full-time smart ass and full-time logo, stadium and kit nerd. When he isn't writing ridiculous match reports or redesigning logos for his own amusement, he's salivating over the day that promotion and relegation occurs in MLS. You can follow him @kitnerdmark on the twitterz.

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  1. Well at least Seba has something to work with, going into next week’s match.

    Oso scored and Oso scored and had a celebration. Run Oso run.

    Hamilton looked the sniper on his two goals.

    Gantar, with the exception of the red card which had justification, laid low in this game. And there were no biblical downpours to assess during the game. 🙂

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  2. A very fun game to watch, and it was great to see the Canadians and your guys do well…but unfortunately I wonder whether the last couple of subs at the end might have contributed to the 2 Impact goals. Believe me, I was excited to see those guys get into the game, but giving up the huge lead hurts for the second leg. Vanney will need to field a good lineup to make up for that. At least there is no MLS to worry about right now.

    Anyway still a great game, and I was happy to see Oso and Hamilton get great goals. And the return of Cheyrou! I started to think his time with the club was done, but now we know they still need to rely on the type of quality depth he can provide.

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  3. Oops , in my first sentence above I meant to say “young guys”, not “your guys”.

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  4. A thank-you to Amway for committing to this tournament. Which is growing into a wonderful showcase of Canadian talent.

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  5. Several thoughts from this game:

    1. That was the most fun I’ve had at BMO in ages. I’m telling you, the VCup brings it out in the players and the fans. Silly fun times for all!

    2. Cheyrou was outstanding – had missed his silky skills and passing abilities lo these many weeks.

    3. So, so, so happy to see Jordan Hamilton score. And quality goals as well.

    4. Same goes for Oso.

    5. Very disappointed in Piatti’s playacting towards the end of the match. But also very surprised at his poor play.

    6. Impressed with our guys energy and commitment to the game. Great effort.

    7. Good job from Vanney until those last subs – I agree w/ Mark (and others), they let their foot off the gas and didn’t bunker properly.

    8. Fingers crossed for next week but have nervous knots thinking about those away goals.

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