THE STARTING 11: Differences Between the MLS Cup and the Grey Cup

MLSE was right - we can't see any gridiron lines!

MLSE was right – we can’t see any gridiron lines!

Great news Toronto football fans – the Grey Cup is being hosted at BMO Field in 2016! Bad news Toronto football fans – the Grey Cup is being hosted at BMO Field in 2016! Those of you who prefer your football ball-shaped and played with feet are finally awakening to the reality that BMO Field is well on its way to multi-purpose purgatory. For those of you out there that still MLSE-believe that Toronto FC will be the golden child, playing on a pristine, gridiron-line free pitch next year… well bless your cotton socks. Funny how all that “two surface” chat died off with the casual TFC supporter anger isn’t it? Anyshits, long before TFC will get the chance to host an MLS Cup at “Our House” (audible SNORT), the CFL will be hosting their championship match at the Canopy-Holder by the Lake. To help you work out the differences between the two games, here is a handy checklist…

11. MLS Cup could NEVER get rock supergroup Loverboy to play at halftime

10. The Grey Cup trophy is actually constructed from 70% day-old Timbits

9. Sebastian Giovinco briefly lived in the Grey Cup

8. MLS Cup was played in front of an indifferent, frozen Toronto crowd

7. The Grey Cup WILL be played in front of an indifferent, frozen Toronto crowd

6. Don Garber has never had a romantic slow-dance with the Grey Cup

5. The MLS Cup trophy only visited Edmonton due to a FedEx mistake

4. The Grey Cup TV broadcast is not susceptible to the whims of TSN curling coverage

3. The MLS Cup trophy is only built to withstand Lite American beer

2. The Grey Cup has never been sipped from erotically by Landon Donovan

1. The MLS Cup has yet to see Pinball Clemons naked

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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5 Comments

  1. Watching Mike Reno, with a bandanna tied to his forehead is still a whole lot better than having to endure a “the Cure” reunion tour.

    I thought that might have been the case, was he living in the top half or the bottom half?

    Is John Madden getting into the MLS Cup hysteria and will break through Garber’s office wall? It is all about great taste.

    Pinball and curling RULE this country.

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    • Did you just malign The Cure?! BANNED FROM THE SITE!! I really liked you Zico, I’ll be sad to see you go…

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      • I like the Cure, it is the old “get-up” does not work in the band’s current body shape…a little too young. My sister liked Loverboy, I viewed the band with suspicion and my cousin from England couldn’t figure out why they were called Loverboy.

        I bet Clint Dempsey is a huge Loverboy fan, Chad Barrett turned him onto their music you know.

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