THE STARTING 11: Failed TFC Valentine’s Day Card Messages

"To Michael, love Greg and Tim"

“To Michael, love Greg and Tim”

If you’re reading this alone then it probably means your Valentine’s plans didn’t go too well. If you are reading this alongside a romantic partner… then lock that up. Someone who will read the dopey musings of a TFC website with you? KEEPER! (Not the Bendik variety) Perhaps if you were unsuccessful, you didn’t buy the right greeting card for the target of your affections. If you ended up sending a TFC-brand Valentine’s Day card, you never stood a chance at love…

11. “I’d Never Trade You for Allocation”
10. “You Own the Discovery Rights… To my heart”
9. “I’m Probably the Worst Spouse in the World”
8. “You be my Miss and I’ll be your Mista”
7. “Cheyrou, Chey-me, Chey-it-together… Naturally”
6. “You can’t Spell Lovitz without L-O-V. Also an E.”
5. “I’d give up My Armband 4 U”
4. “You gave me back my MoJo”
3. “Don’t be Bitchy, Be my Valentine”
2. “You had me at DP”
1. “You are My Five-Year Plan”

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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