THE STARTING 11: Features On The New TFC Away Kit

Coming soon to a TFC player near you?

Coming soon to a TFC player near you?

What a load of shirt! It’s that time of year again when MLS clubs unveil the hottest new looks in North American soccer haute couture. It’s like being at a fancy Paris design house – but with more offsides. Many teams have released their new looks as seen here, here and also here – but now it’s Toronto FC’s turn. Always hip to what the kidz on the streetz are wearing, the new TFC alternate is packed full of special features…

11. Climacool technology to help both sucking AND blowing

10. Hologram stitched into fabric that depicts Bitchy the Hawk fighting Drake’s owl

9. Butty-fanny-pack

8. White horizontal stripes to move the eye away from gridiron lines on the pitch

7. Bank loans and flexible financing available

6. One star over the badge for every manager in TFC history

5. LED display for shirt names to easily stay ahead of trades

4. Triple Blue – just to one-up The Argos

3. Clip-on tie for formal matches

2. Tiny version for hanging from rear view mirror/for Giovincos

1. Made from leftover canopy

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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