THE STARTING 11: Giovinco-esque nicknames for other Toronto FC players

Keep walking wolf.

Keep walking wolf.

By now you’ve heard it hundreds of times – “The Atomic Ant”. That is of course the nickname long bestowed upon TFC’s minute midfielder/odd tattoo enthusiast Sebastian Giovinco. Based on an obscure television cartoon, the moniker is meant to illustrate how The Reds’ 5’5″ superstar overcomes his minute stature to perform tasks far beyond his frame. But what of Giovinco’s new teammates? Don’t they deserve similar nicknames as well? Why it’s funny you asked that…

11. DAMIEN PERQUIS – “The French Polisher”
10. BRIGHT DIKE – “The Invisible Eagle”
9. JOE BENDIK – “The Slammin’ Stopper”
8. ERIQ ZAVALETA – “The Nifty Nephew”
7. ALEX BONO – “The Other Other Bono”
6. COLLEN WARNER – “The Extra L Ephant”
5. CHRIS KONOPKA – “This Chris Konopka Funny Name! Fire! Bad!”
4. JACKSON – “The Fouling Fowl”
3. GILBERTO – “The Disposable Wolf”
2. MARK BLOOM – “The Poverty-Line Papa”
1. STEVEN CALDWELL – “The Flappin’ Cap’n”

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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