THE STARTING 11: New TFC Narratives

nick hagglund

It goes like this: You, the supporter, feel a certain way about a certain aspect of TFCdom. This is most often followed by a member of the local established TFC media telling you how wrong you are and that you are a maroon with only a rube-like knowledge of the sport. In turn, this is rebutted by indignation and a thumbing of the nose by those who consider actually paying money to go to matches as the ultimate truth-teller. The cycle continues back-and-forth via the magical world of social media – a place where thoughtful debate goes to die a horrific, lingering death – and thusly a narrative is born. TFC, as a club that survived for nine of its ten years fuelled mostly on drama and psychosis, is no stranger to narratives that fill the void where winning should be. However, as the recent times have been a little less dramatic, new narratives (Canopies, Argoses and Altidores notwithstanding) are a bit harder to come by and increasingly lame-o…

11. Damien Perquis: Not really French OR Polish

10. The Chip Butty in not your buddy. Discuss.

9. New MLS security wands are part of a grand right-wing conspiracy

8. TFC aren’t flying the Iranian flag at BMO Field to honour Steven Beitashour but to infuriate Jacob Peterson

7. If you think Nick Hagglund doesn’t cut his own hair you don’t know the sport

6. Tim Leiweke was the best thing to happen to TFC since Mo Johnston

5. Everyone in Canada hates Canada except TFC

4. Michael Bradley is a shy, humble misunderstood man

3. Mista did a lot of good things off the ball

2. Bitchy the Hawk has let fame go to her head

1. Fireworks: There’s never a bad time

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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1 Comment

  1. Fireworks – I hope we win this weekend, it will go better with what we know is coming.

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