THE STARTING 11: Proposed Names for Hamilton’s NASL Club

Smoke City

“Pan-Am Ah! Pan-Am Ah-ha-haha-ha-ha!” No, TFC aren’t back in the Van Halen-utilizing CONCACAF Champions League but rather the Pan-Am Games are about to land in the Golden Horseshoe. Part of the sporting infrastructure built in Toronto and the outlying cities that comprise “Toronto Jr.” includes a new footy friendly-ish stadium – Tim Hortons Field – for our neighbours to the west, Hamilton. For our overseas friends, Hamilton is Canada’s Pittsburgh/ Sheffield/ Newcastle NSW etc. In order to fill some dates for this new stadium there has been advanced talk of bringing an NASL club to the Steel City, but what to call it?…

11. Hamchester City

10. FC Mettalurg Hamiltonsk

9. Hamilton Crackademical

8. CD Universidad McMastolica

7. Smoke City FC

6. FC Zenit St. Catherines

5. West Ham Ilton United

4. Wolverhamilton Wanderers

3. Tigres Cats

2. Blacklung Rovers

1. Real Soot Lake

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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  1. There are some very nice bits to Hamilton, undoubtedly, but after going to the Canada game there on friday, wow, that stadium location does absolutely nothing for the town’s image. you have to drive right past all industrial stuff that looks terrible from the bridge to get there, and you can smell it in the air as you’re near the stadium walking along a very run down main street to get there.
    ‘a good proper working class neighbourhood to have a stadium in’, would be the positive spin I could put on it I suppose. I was probably just grumpier than usual due to the ridiculous traffic to get there on a Friday evening.

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    • to stick with the spirit of the article I propose Hurts-ta Breathin SC

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    • Time was that smell in the air was money! Hamilton did, a couple of generations ago, have one of the highest incomes per capita in the country. While the good time have gone, the NASL is coming. I vote for Tiger Cat Football Club, there shouldn’t be any confusion, right?

      It is important for interest in the professional game be kindled across the country. It will generate better TV ratings and readership for outlets like this.

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  2. Missed one … Hamilton Athletic Club (complimentary gas mask with purchase of ST)
    … owned by General Athletic Soccer Properties.

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  3. How was the stadium Duncan? It looked pretty good on TV, although I assume the pitch was field turf. Before the match started I thought it was grass, and I was thinking – how can Hamilton get a grass-field stadium that looks like that, while Toronto will get have to lose it’s pristine grass field to accommodate the Argos? Other than that, it looked like a pretty cool venue, but I suppose the TV cameras can lie.

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    • two big stands along each side, no roof on either of them, then just patio’s at the ends, and of course it’s cfl sized so the ends are quite far away from the goalline for soccer. Pitch was turf, yes. Having said all that, it’s quite good really for what it’s trying to be, a fairly unremarkable north american football kind of stadium. They’ve doen that quite nicely, and at a sensible size. Was watching the game next to duane rollins, he likes it because the press box is much nicer than bmo field. which I guess is important if you do the press box type thing.

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      • The local Hamilton politicians were pretty unhappy with the facility, calling it a Texas cinder block high school stadium. Have not seen it in person, probably better than Ivor Wynne but not as big, roofed, cheap and architecturally arresting as BMO. 🙂

        The stadium in Dunedin NZ for the U20 WC is interesting, fully glassed in grass.

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        • Thanks for the assessment guys! I guess it’s not ideal for soccer, but if Hamilton gets an NASL team out of it, at least it means more local teams for Canadian players to develop.

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