THE STARTING 11: Signs That Autumn Has Arrived At TFC

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Ah Autumn… Easily one of the planet’s Top 5 seasons. The soggy crotches of Summer have dried while the frozen crotches of Winter loom on the horizon. Over the last decade, Autumn has usually heralded the abrupt end of a TFC season but all that has changed don’t you know! TFC are now decent and dream of late November match days. However, some signs at BMO Field will always point to seasonal change…

11. Nutmegs now sprinkled with… nutmeg

10. Greg Vanney only wears shirts in deep shades of orange

9. Big trash bags full of soggy Argos’ jock straps pile up on the sidewalk outside BMO Field waiting for removal

8. The grounds crew design the pitch into a jaunty corn maze

7. Players’ sideline water bottles now filled with piping hot apple cider

6. The seats at BMO Field fade from red, to yellow, to brown before dropping to the ground

5. The comforting smell of freshly glazed hamstrings

4. Halftime shows are now mostly raking

3. Aron Winter is just around the corner

2. Everything begins to fall… Except season ticket prices

1. Pumpkin Spice Buttys

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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2 Comments

  1. The grounds crew are preparing pitch design for the fall? Honestly, I though that is what the Argos were planning…something along soft and mushy surprise for their co-tenants

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    • Wow, I would be pretty mad, as well. In fact, I am mad. Any advice I could give at the moment involves asking God to give people kidney stones, so I’ll ponder this a bit.

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