THE STARTING 11: Positives of Orlando City Visiting Twice In One Month

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Oh Major Leagues of Soccer. We love the way you take a schedule, put it in a blender with a banana, puree for 30 seconds then pour generously over a blank sheet of paper. It’s this magical medley of fixture fondling that saw league new boys Orlando City pay not one ­ but two visits to BMO Field in less than a month. Calendariffic! You may think it’s a bit tiring to watch the same squad twice in such a short period but there are a few positives to having The Lions as repeat visitors…

11. Watching local Kaka­only fans look miserable twice

10. Good memories to hold on to for future seasons when Orlando inevitably becomes better than us

9. Seeing Eric Avila’s duplicated tweets meant strange “xoxoxoxoboysinthecityagain” messages

8. Locals got the chance to donate to the fund to buy Orlando goalkeeper Tally Hall a badge for his shirt

7. Nice to force Floridians to travel north to Canada twice a year instead

6. Finally got all those awful lion jokes out of our system

5. Twice the Adrian Heath equals one regular­ sized man

4. Opportunity for Canadian fans to see Cyle Larin score in person

3. If you look in a mirror and say Orlando City SC twice in two weeks Tony Orlando appears at dawn

2. With the CNE on, Orlando gets a chance to see what Disney World would look like after an apocalypse

1. It’s so nice to hear that famous BMO Field phrase “But we’re only an expansion team” again

Author: Tony Walsh

Tony Walsh is a writer, former minor-league broadcaster and failed astronaut. Born into supporting an underachieving football club only to end up supporting a second underachieving football club - through what must be deemed as soft immigration policies - he continues to make terrible life choices. Walsh is a keen observer of the malarkey-rife sport of football and is considered one of the leading voices on the Collin Samuel Obesity Epidemic.

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2 Comments

  1. Disney World doesn’t have a butter carving competition. And it is official, Larin will never score in Toronto no matter who he plays for, OC or CMNT.

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    • Ouch, poor Cyle.

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